


Daddy Long Legs

by OneOfThoseCrazyGirls



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fusion, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Happy Ending, Humor, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Slow Burn, basically if you’re looking for a fic that’s just a happy good time, but they’re both adults, it actually gets really angsty, this is the fic for you, told partially through letters, well except for all the angst, whoops sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-07-16 09:45:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 39,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16083560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneOfThoseCrazyGirls/pseuds/OneOfThoseCrazyGirls
Summary: Poor Felicity Smoak, the oldest orphan in the John Grier Home.That is, until an anonymous benefactor decides to pay for her to attend college—on the condition that she write him a letter once a month.But what happens when this mysterious benefactor that Felicity nicknames “Daddy Long Legs” inadvertently falls in love with the recipient of his charity?Based on the Jean Webster novel and off-Broadway musical “Daddy Long Legs”





	1. The Oldest Orphan in the John Grier Home

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! 
> 
> First of all, thank you so much for giving this fic a chance! It really, truly means a lot to me! 
> 
> So, as I said in the summary, this fic is based on the book and musical “Daddy Long Legs”. It’s kind of a double fusion if you will because it’s mostly based on the musical but I did also take some elements from the book. All the chapter titles are the names of the songs in the musical. 
> 
> Anyway, I’ll stop talking now and let you get to reading!

Poor Felicity Smoak, the oldest orphan in the John Grier Home.

It was the first Wednesday of the month and Felicity knew what that meant: every floor scrubbed, every chair dusted, every bed made without a wrinkle, and every hair combed on ninety-seven orphans’ heads.

A perfectly awful day.

Felicity awoke at five o’clock in the morning in order to help get everything ready for the Trustees’ visit.

After going through her own morning routine, she helped the children in her dormitory—who ranged from ages four to seven—out of bed and into their freshly starched ginghams.

After breakfast, she stood them all in a line to remind them of their manners and to say “yes, sir” or “no, ma’am” when they were addressed by a Trustee or a member of the visiting committee.

The Trustees and lady visitors arrived around ten o’clock and, from where Felicity stood in the kitchen helping the cooks prepare lunches for their guests, she could see them arriving in their fancy carriages and automobiles. And on the horizon, she could see, sitting on the hill, the large country estates of said guests. The outsides of the estates were as beautiful as anything she’d ever seen, and she was sure the insides were just as spectacular.

Felicity pictured herself in a large fur coat and silk stockings, riding in a carriage set towards one of those large houses. She could see herself walking up to the front door and going inside. _Home._

While Felicity knew that material possessions weren’t everything, she’d be lying if she didn’t admit that she often wondered what it would be like to have them.

The day dragged on— _slowly_. The Trustees and lady visitors made their rounds around the Home, however, Felicity managed to dodge all of their saccharine-ness ( _was that a word?_ )

When the day was finally over, and the sun had started to disappear behind the horizon, all the guests made their way back to their large estates in their preferred modes of transportation.

Once all the Trustees were gone, Felicity and the other older orphans (who were all between the ages of thirteen and sixteen, unlike she who was at the ripe old age of eighteen) gathered all of the younger children and led them to the dining room for a small treat of pudding before they were sent away to get ready for bed.

When the orphans in Felicity’s charge were settled at a table with their dessert, she headed upstairs to one of the landings and perched herself on a windowsill—and relished the feeling of relieving the pressure from her aching feet, (this was the first time she had gotten to sit down all day).

As the sun completely vanished under the horizon, she saw all the lights starting to come on in those estates on the hill. They looked like fireflies fluttering in the distance and Felicity, once again, imagined what it would be like to live there. To have a home.

Felicity always had a vivid imagination. An imagination that the matron, Mrs. Abbott, told her would get her into very great trouble one day.

Perhaps Mrs. Abbott was right. Perhaps Felicity did dream too big.

Felicity liked to tinker with things. When she was seven years old, she took the clock off the mantle in her dormitory and took it apart—just because she wanted to see how it worked! And then she re-built it again just by reversing the process of taking it apart. She didn’t mean any harm by it, she was just curious. Ever since then, she would take apart and re-build any little thing she could find. Sometimes she would even take parts from other things to build something entirely new. Once, a few years ago, she was gifted a book about a woman named Ada Lovelace, and ever since then, Felicity knew that she wanted to be like that. But when she told this to Mrs. Abbott, the matron just laughed and told her to get her head out of the clouds.

Felicity was afraid she would never break free of this place.

Felicity was pulled out of her thoughts when little Rory Regan came shouting up the stairs.

“Felicity Smoak, you are wanted in the office and you better hurry up!”

“Who wants me?”

“Mrs. Abbott in the office. And I think she’s really mad!”

Rory went scurrying off then and Felicity stood up with a sigh. _Where did I go wrong?_ Were the sandwiches not thin enough? Were there shells in the nut cakes? Had a lady visitor seen the hole in Kara Danvers’ stocking? Or—the horror!—had one of the young orphans “sassed” a Trustee?

Felicity wracked her brain trying to figure out why Mrs. Abbott would be mad at her, and on her way to the office, she noticed something out the window.

It seemed that, despite Felicity believing all the Trustees had already left, one still remained. She could see him walking towards an automobile that she hadn’t noticed before. She could tell he was a man based on the shadow that the headlights of his automobile cast on the wall.

His shadow looked like a daddy long legs. A creeping, crawling daddy long legs. The biggest one that Felicity had ever seen!

And, without warning, a laugh bubbled up from her chest.

She didn’t know who this man was and it was highly unlikely that she ever would, but she would never forget that he made her laugh on this perfectly awful day.


	2. Who is This Man?

Felicity entered Mrs. Abbott’s office with a smile still on her face. Mrs. Abbott herself looked—well, not happy exactly; Felicity didn’t think Mrs. Abbott could ever be happy—at least pleasant. It was the same face she presented to the Trustees and visitors whenever they came for the monthly meeting.

At least she wasn’t angry, Felicity supposed. But Felicity still didn’t let her hopes soar too high. Mrs. Abbott could just be trying to trick her. Felicity didn’t think Mrs. Abbott was really the type, but maybe that was part of it.

Felicity was shaken out of her thoughts by Mrs. Abbott’s harsh voice.

“Sit down, Felicity. I have something to say to you.”

 _Well, that sounds ominous_ , Felicity thought but did as she was told, sitting down in the chair that was opposite Mrs. Abbott on the other side of her desk.

Felicity’s cheeriness from before gave way to a touch of anxiety. The bright shine of headlights briefly flashed through the room and Mrs. Abbott glanced after it.

“Did you see the gentleman who has just left?” Mrs. Abbott asked in a tone Felicity couldn’t quite place.

“I saw his silhouette.” Felicity replied tersely.

“He is one of our most affluent Trustees.” Mrs. Abbott explained without missing a beat. “He has given many large sums of money in support of the orphanage. I am not at liberty to tell you his name, however. He explicitly stated that he is to remain anonymous.”

Felicity’s eyes widened slightly. She was never summoned to the office to discuss the Trustees with the matron. Felicity desperately wanted to ask why she was there but knew that would make Mrs. Abbott angry so, instead, she kept her mouth shut and let Mrs. Abbott continue.

“This gentleman has taken an interest in several of our boys. You remember Roy Harper and Barry Allen? They were both sent to college by Mr.—er, the Trustee, and they both have repaid the money that was so generously given to them with hard work and success. In fact, the gentleman would not accept any other form of repayment. Until now, his charity has been directed solely to the boys. I have never been able to interest him in any of the girls, no matter how deserving I thought they were. I suppose he does not care for girls.”

“No ma’am.” Felicity murmured for no other reason than she thought Mrs. Abbott was expecting her to reply.

“Today, at the regular meeting, the question of your future was brought up.” Mrs. Abbott continued on.

Felicity’s stomach clenched as Mrs. Abbott allowed a moment of silence to fall between them. Felicity sat on the edge of her seat in anticipation silently willing Mrs. Abbott to just continue already.

“As you already know, children are not kept here after the age of sixteen, but an exception was made for you. After finishing your education here at fourteen it was decided that you would continue on in the village high school. Now that you have finished that, the orphanage can no longer be responsible for you. As it is, you’ve already been here two years longer than you were meant to.”

Mrs. Abbot overlooked the fact that Felicity had worked hard for her board. That the needs of the orphanage had always come before her education. How many days of school had she missed because Mrs. Abbott commanded her to stay at the Home to do chores?

“As I said, the question of your future was brought up and your academic—and behavioral—record was thoroughly discussed.” Mrs. Abbott looked at Felicity accusingly and Felicity decided to look guilty in return only because she felt that Mrs. Abbott expected her to.

“Usually, with someone in your position, we would find you a situation where you would be put to work and contribute to society, but, because of your academic success—your excellence in math and science could even be seen as brilliant...by some—it has been decided that, instead, you should be sent to college. In fact, Mr.—the gentleman that has just left has offered to send you to college.”

“C—college?” Felicity stuttered, her eyes growing wide. Mrs. Abbott nodded.

“He left late because he stayed to discuss the terms with me. The gentleman seems rather severe, in my opinion. But he thought you possessed originality. He has made his orders very clear and I was not at liberty to argue with him. He is decided. You are to remain here for the summer, although he did leave some money to buy you some new dresses so that you at least look presentable when you arrive at the college. Your board and tuition will be paid, in full, directly to the college and you will also receive a monthly allowance of thirty five dollars while you are in school. The money will be sent to you by the gentleman’s private secretary once a month. In addition, you are to write him a letter of acknowledgement once a month. That is, you are not to thank him for the money; in fact, he wants no mention of it. You are simply to write him only about the progress of your studies and details of your daily life as you see fit. The kind of letter you would write to your family—if you had one.”

Felicity took in a slow, deep breath as she tried to process all of this information. But Mrs. Abbott continued on:

“These letters will be addressed to Mr. John Smith and will be delivered to him via his secretary. The gentleman’s name is not actually John Smith, but he prefers to remain anonymous. To you, he will never be anything but John Smith. His reasons for wanting you to write him letters is that he wishes to keep track of your academic progress and he also hopes it will assist in building communication skills which is something he thinks you must be lacking in given your upbringing.” Mrs. Abbott said that last part without even trying to hide her annoyance. She must not like that someone dared to question her ability to educate young people. “He will never answer your letters or pay them the slightest bit of attention. If, for any reason, there should be a need for him to write to you, you will correspond with his secretary, Mr. Diggle. These letters are absolutely obligatory on your part so I trust that you will be respectful and punctual. These letters are the only payment that Mr. Smith requires. And remember that you are writing a Trustee of the John Grier Home.”

Felicity’s heart was pounding and she was practically buzzing in her seat, longing to leave the office.

Felicity sprang up from her chair but was momentarily halted by Mrs. Abbott.

“I trust that you will be properly grateful for this rare opportunity. Not many girls have this chance to rise in the world as you’ve been given. And remember—“

“Yes, ma’am.” Felicity interrupted. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to sew a patch on Mick Rory’s trousers.”

Felicity swiftly left the room before Mrs. Abbott could say another word.

* * *

 

Felicity practically sprinted up to her room, barely able to contain her excitement.

Felicity set to work on her chores. Thankfully, she had done this task many times before—Mick had a habit of ripping up his clothing—so it didn’t require her to think. Which was good because she couldn’t think about anything else except _him—_ Mr. Smith.

Who was this man? How could this be? Who would take on the task of educating Felicity?

Who in heaven’s name was he?

_I guess I’ll never know him. But he will know me in letters._

Even though he never wanted her to thank him in her letters she would still quietly thank him two or three times each and every night. How could she not?

But he will never write her.

She was supposed to write him letters but he would never respond. How droll that seemed.

But Felicity didn’t dwell too much on that. It didn’t matter.

She was going to _college!_

And this Mr. Smith wanted her to write to him as if he was her family. But calling him Mr. Smith wouldn’t do, that name was too boring and ordinary. So that meant only one question remained...

How should she address him?


	3. Mr. Girl Hater

It was Felicity’s last night in the John Grier Home before she headed off to college tomorrow.

_Last night! College tomorrow!_

Felicity was just too excited to sleep.

Earlier that evening, Mrs. Abbott had summoned her to the office to have a very serious talk about what it was going to be like at school. Felicity barely heard a word. She was too busy thinking about how she would be leaving the John Grier Home for good and officially becoming a real-life College Student.

She also thought about Mr. Smith a lot—well, she thought about him every day. And she thought a lot about the letters she was meant to write. She was supposed to write once a month. Did that mean on the first day of every month? Or did it matter? If this was his only request of her, she wanted to get it right.

* * *

 

The next day, there was no need for Felicity to wake up bright and early because she hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep all night so she was already awake.

The John Grier Home was just a few miles outside of Star City, but the college she was attending was much farther north and she would have to take a train to get there.

_A train!_

While Felicity was, of course, very excited, as she got closer and closer to the school, the nerves really started to set in.

What if no one liked her? What if she couldn’t keep up and got expelled? Being good in high school was one thing, but this was _college_. She had no idea what to expect other than it would be hard.

Felicity tried to relax herself. She shouldn’t let her fears and anxieties cloud her mind. If she was really struggling, she could just write to Mr. Smith for advice. Mrs. Abbott did say that he could reply through his secretary.

* * *

 

_215 Ferguson Hall_

_September 24, 1908_

_Dear Kind Trustee Who Sends Orphans to College,_

_Here I am! I travelled in a train for four hours yesterday. It’s an odd sensation, isn’t it? I’ve never ridden in one before._

_College is the biggest, most bewildering place. I get lost every time I leave my room. I’ll write you a description later when I’m feeling less muddled. Also, I’ll tell you about my lessons, of course. Classes don’t actually begin until Monday morning and this is Saturday night, but I thought I’d get a head start on these letters just to get acquainted._

_It seems odd to be writing letters to somebody you don’t know. Then again, it’s odd for me to be writing letters at all. I’ve probably only written maybe three or four in my life (so please excuse these letters if they’re not very good)._

_Before I left, Mrs. Abbott and I had a very serious talk. She told me how to behave for the rest of my life and especially how to behave towards the kind gentleman that is doing so much for me. I must be Very Respectful._

_But how can one be Very Respectful to someone who wishes to be called John Smith? Why couldn’t you have picked a name with a little more personality? I might as well write letters to Mr. Hitching Post or Mr. Clothes Pole._

_I’ve been thinking about you a lot this summer. Having somebody take an interest in me after all these years—I feel like I belong to somebody now; a kind of family. I feel like I belong to somebody now, like a guiding hand. A soul who takes an interest in my welfare. A friend who takes an interest in my life. I feel like I belong to something more than just a school._

_But when I think of you I know so little. I consider myself to have a vivid imagination, but my imagination needs something to go on and with you—I can only think of three things I know about you:_

  1. _You are tall._
  2. _You are rich._
  3. _You hate girls._



_I suppose I could call you Mr. Girl Hater. But that’s too insulting to me; it would never do. Or I could call you Dear Mr. Rich Man. But that’s too insulting to you; as if money is the only important thing about you. Also...you might not be rich for that much longer. But, I suppose, you will always stay tall. So I’ve decided to call you Dear Daddy Long Legs. Old Daddy Long Legs. I hope you don’t mind, Daddy Long Legs; it’s just a pet name. (We won’t tell a soul, I promise)_

_The ten o’clock bell is going to ring soon. Our day is divided into sections by bells. We eat and sleep and study by bells. (Between you and me, I find it very amusing)_

_And there it goes! Lights out. Goodnight._

_(And you may observe how well I obey rules. It’s all thanks to my training at the John Grier Home)_

_Yours respectfully,_

_Felicity Smoak_

_(Whose education is underwritten by a man I lovingly call Mr. Hitching Post Clothes Pole Daddy Long Legs Smith)_


	4. She Thinks I’m Old

Oliver sat in his study looking over documents for the board meeting tomorrow. It was a bunch of legal jargon that he didn’t understand; he made a note to have his lawyer look over everything and put it into terms he could understand so he wouldn’t be totally lost. He was, after all, in charge of the company. He had to at least _look_ like he knew what he was doing.

It wasn’t easy though. After his father’s unexpected death the previous year, Oliver was thrust into the position as head of the company (and head of the family) ill-prepared.

He was twenty eight years old and yet he simultaneously felt too young and too old all at the same time.

Oliver sighed and rubbed his eyes with his fingers. He would give anything for a reprieve right now.

As if on cue, there was a knock on Oliver’s door and Diggle poked his head in.

“Come in, Diggle.” Oliver motioned, sitting back in his chair.

“A letter came for you from Miss Smoak.” Diggle announced.

Ah yes, Miss Felicity Smoak, the newest orphan he was sponsoring. But something was off... “What? It’s only the twenty seventh. I wasn’t expecting her letter until the fourth...just like the last two.”

“It says right here.” Diggle pointed to the letter. “Miss Felicity Smoak, 215 Ferguson Hall.”

“Very well then. Thank you, Diggle.” Oliver took the letter from Diggle’s hand before Diggle promptly left the room.

* * *

 

_Yours respectfully,_

_Felicity Smoak_

_(Whose education is underwritten by a man I lovingly call Mr. Hitching Post Clothes Pole Daddy Long Legs Smith)_

Oliver tried to fight it, but once again, a smile spread across his face for probably the fifth or sixth time while reading his first letter from Miss Smoak.

He had to admit, this was the best letter he had read in a while.

But he couldn’t help but wonder...what on _earth_ had led her to believe that he was old? Was it something that Mrs. Abbott had said? But then why would she say anything like that when she knew him?

And he had so many other questions.

Why did she think he hated girls? Once again, he wondered what Mrs. Abbott told her. And why was Mrs. Abbott painting him in such a terrible light? The matron wasn’t the most pleasant woman, but he couldn’t think of anything he’d done to upset her.

Why was she writing so early? Mr. Harper’s and Mr. Allen’s letters were always punctual. They wrote on the first of every month and he received the letters a few days later. And yet, here she was, writing before her classes even began “to get acquainted”, she had said. What did that mean?

And why was she so curious about his appearance? Harper and Allen had never wondered about them. He told them the same thing he told Miss Smoak: to write about their classes and details about their daily lives if they wished. Harper and Allen had done just that and nothing more.

Their letters always began with “Dear Mr. Smith”, Allen would list out the classes he was taking and his current grades in those classes and then he would give a brief description about what clubs and organizations he was involved in, and he would always end his letters with “Respectfully, Bartholomew Allen”. Harper did the same except, occasionally, he would go into detail about some of his friends, but that was it. And his letters were always signed “Sincerely, Roy Harper”. And then once they were both graduated, the letters ceased.

To this day, he has absolutely no idea what either of them look like and what they got up to after graduation other than what they said their plans were (but Oliver, himself, knew that sometimes what you planned to do after graduation wasn’t always what you ended up settling into).

And he didn’t care to know.

Besides, his appearance should mean as little to her as hers to him. He didn’t know if she was fair or dark, fat or thin, short or tall...what did it matter?

She has a brain, that’s what matters. She deserved a chance at an education, regardless of her looks or upbringing.

She’s going to go on to become a brilliant engineer, probably invent some kind of life-changing technology...

And he’ll be standing off to the side, glowing with pride, and knowing how it all began.

He made it clear that his obligation did not include communication so he’ll be content to remain in the shadows a girl-hating, gray old man.


	5. Like Other Girls

_October 1, 1908_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_I love college! I’m very, very happy and so excited every moment of the day that I can scarcely sleep. You can’t imagine how different it is from the John Grier Home. I never dreamed there was such a place in the world. I feel sorry for everybody who isn’t a girl and can’t come here. I’m sure the college you attended as a boy couldn’t have been so nice._

_My room is up in a tower that used to be part of the infirmary—the contagious ward more specifically, where they would send everyone who was contagious so they wouldn’t get everyone else sick, before they built the new infirmary (but I’ve been told the place was thoroughly cleaned before they allowed students to start living here, but if they lied and I die, you really only have yourself to blame for sending me here)._

_There are three other girls on this same floor: a senior who is always asking us to please be a little more quiet, and two freshmen named Caitlin Snow and Thea Queen. Caitlin has red hair and loves science and math like me and is quite friendly; Thea comes from one of the first families in Star City and hasn’t noticed me yet. Caitlin and Thea room together and the senior and I have singles. Usually, freshmen don’t get singles (they are very scarce and therefore normally only reserved for upperclassmen), but I suppose they didn’t think it would be right for a properly brought up girl to room with an orphan. You see, there are advantages!_

_My room is on the northwest corner with two windows and a view. After you’ve lived in an orphanage with twenty roommates for eighteen years, it feels amazing to finally be alone! This is the first chance I’ve ever had to really get acquainted with Felicity Smoak. And I think I’m going to like her._

_Do you think you would like her too?_

_Later._

_I love walking around the campus. I love to see the leaves change and smell that crisp autumn air. I think the air actually smells different here. It’s...fresher. And everyone is so happy here, always laughing and playing. And I am the happiest of them all!_

_I meant for this to be a long letter and to tell you about all the things I’m learning (Mrs. Abbott said that you wanted to know), but the bell has just rung and I’m due at the gymnasium for mandatory athletics (every freshman has to partake; it’s not my favorite time of day for I’m so small and not very co-ordinated)._

_Pray for me that I don’t get my spectacles knocked off by a ball again._

_Yours always,_

_Felicity Smoak_

_P.S. (9 o’clock)_

_Caitlin Snow just poked her head in my door. This is what she said:_

_“I’m so homesick that I simply can’t stand it. Do you feel that way?” I smiled a little and said no (because I didn’t know what else to say). How could I be homesick when I’ve never had a home? I’ve never heard of anyone being orphanage-sick, have you?_

* * *

 

_October 10, 1908_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_Have you ever heard of Michael Angelo? (Revision: I just looked it up and it’s actually spelled Michelangelo. Pardon me, Daddy, I hope you don’t think me too stupid)._

_He was a famous artist who lived in Italy during the ~~Renesance~~ Renaissance. Everybody in English Literature seemed to know about him, and the whole class laughed because I thought he was an archangel. He sounds like an archangel, doesn’t he? The trouble with college is that you’re expected to know all these things you’ve never learned. It’s very embarrassing at times. I made an awful mistake on the first day—somebody mentioned Jane Austen and I asked if she was a freshman. That joke has gone all over school. So now, whenever somebody mentions something I don’t know, I just keep quiet and then go look it up later in the library._

_The truth is, Daddy, that I’m in a foreign world. I’m different and strange. It seems like all the other girls here speak a language of their own, one that I don’t understand. I know that I should try to fit in somehow, but I don’t think that I can change. I can’t help but feel alone._

_I know it may sound silly to you, but I just want to be like other girls. I want to make lemon pies and wear fancy shoes and get all dressed up. Just like the other girls._

_But it’s not all bad news!_

_Caitlin Snow is my best friend. She helped me decorate my room—it’s a symphony of brown and red. Caitlin grew up in a real house so she knows all about furnishings. I bought a second-hand mahogany desk for three dollars. And a big red rug to put underneath (although, the rug has an ink spot on it, but I just positioned the desk over the spot so no one would see it). I bought red curtains for my windows and a brown suade sofa. I assure you, Daddy dear, I do so appreciate that allowance._

_Caitlin is the most entertaining person in the world. Thea Queen finally noticed me and...well, she’s less friendly than Caitlin. She makes very little effort to be amiable, at least to me. She seems to believe that being a Queen sets her above everyone else. Thea and I were born to be enemies._

_Earlier today, Caitlin and I were talking and somehow we got on the subject of families. She told me that her father died when she was young, and after that, her mother re-married and she now has two step-brothers named Ray and Sydney Palmer. She said that it felt strange sometimes, that she had brothers who weren’t really her brothers. But that it was okay because she got along well with them (especially Ray). I can kind of relate to that. After all, I grew up with dozens of other children who weren’t really my brothers and sisters. (Although, I didn’t quite get along with all of them the way Caitlin gets along with her step-brothers). And then Caitlin asked about my family. I didn’t know what else to say so I told her that my parents had died. I just couldn’t tell her where I come from. Is that the same as having lied?_

_It’s just another reminder that I really don’t belong here. But I want to. Once again, I just want to be like the other girls. I want to cure disease or write a symphony or win the Nobel Prize. I could become a scientist or a motorist or a suffragette or the class valedictorian._

_I’ve been wearing gingham all my life (and believe me when I tell you, Daddy, that wearing hand-me-downs from girls who didn’t like you really eats into your soul). But now I wear evening dresses and new gloves instead of old, worn out mittens, and I’m learning new things every day. I’m on my way to becoming a real scholar!_

_Anyway, you must think that I’m very silly. After all, what would you know about not fitting in? I’m sure you’ve never had any problems with that._

_Yours,_

_Felicity_

_P.S._ _It just occurred to me that I still have yet to tell you about the classes I’m taking and what I’m learning. I meant to tell you, but this letter really got away from me and I got so distracted by other things. But I promise, Daddy, my next letter will be filled with nothing but my studies._


	6. Things I Didn’t Know

Oliver sat in his study, having just gotten home from a very long day at work. He didn’t quite understand why he had to attend every single meeting, even the ones that seemingly had nothing to do with him.

But he was home now, the day was over, and he didn’t have to worry about anything for the rest of the evening.

Just as he was about to grab a book off one of the shelves, there was a knock at the door and Diggle entered.

“Mr. Queen, you have a letter from Miss Smoak.” Diggle announced, holding out the white envelope to him.

Oliver raised his eyebrows in surprise, “You cannot be serious. This is her third letter in as many weeks.”

Diggle said nothing, but Oliver could tell he was holding back a remark.

“Thank you, Diggle. You may go.”

Diggle left the room and Oliver settled back into his chair, opening the letter.

As the letter came to a close, Oliver couldn’t help all the thoughts that raced through his mind.

His first thought was to make a note to himself to write a letter to Thea and encourage her to be kinder to her classmates. Not everyone was brought up with the advantages that they had been brought up with.

Oliver couldn’t entirely blame his younger sister for her behavior, though. He had been the same way when he was her age. He didn’t care about anyone but himself and he felt the world owed him everything simply because his last name was Queen. Once he finished his own college education, his father urged him to take a year or two to travel. He took his father’s advice, if only to get away from the pressures of being the “heir apparent” for a while. But what he didn’t expect was that, while he was away, he gained some much-needed perspective about life. He saw many marvelous things, sure, but he also learned that most of the world’s population outside the United States and parts of Europe lived in desolation and poverty.

This is what prompted him to take a place on the Board of Trustees at the John Grier Home.

He had intended to encourage his sister to undertake a similar exhibition when she finished school, but perhaps it was never too early (or too late) to learn to be more compassionate to the people around her.

His second thought was mostly surprise. Surprise to learn that Miss Smoak was having such a hard time fitting in. But she seemed determined and, he just had a feeling that she would be “just like the other girls” in no time.

And what made him laugh was, the whole point of these letters was so that he could keep track of her progress, but, of course, three letters in and she had still yet to actually talk about her classes. He bore her no ill will, however. He actually found it kind of amusing. She was just so excited; usually he would find this type of behavior somewhat annoying, but with her, it was endearing.

* * *

 

_October 25, 1908_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_I promised you that my next letter would be entirely devoted to telling you what I’m learning (and I’m sure you’ve been waiting impatiently to hear)._

  1. _Latin: Second Punic War. Hannibal and his forces pitched camp at Lake Trasimene last night. They prepared an ambuscade for the Romans and a battle took place at the fourth watch this morning. Romans in retreat._
  2. _French: 24 pages of the Three Musketeers and third conjugation, irregular verbs._
  3. _Geometry: Finished cylinders; now doing cones._
  4. _English: Studying exposition._
  5. _Physiology: Reached the digestive system. Bile and the pancreas next time._



_Yours on the way to being educated,_

_Felicity Smoak_

_P.S._ _I hope you never touch alcohol, Daddy. It does terrible things to your liver (and for old men it can even be fatal)._

Oliver looked up from her letter to glance at the half empty glass of scotch sitting on his desk.

* * *

 

_November 15, 1908_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_Did you ever wonder where Mrs. Abbott got all the orphans’ names?_

_She picks them out at random. For instance, my name, Smoak, came from the phone book. She just flipped it open to a random page and there it was. And the name Felicity came from a tombstone._

_How did your parents pick your name?_

_I also must confess, I’ve been wondering more and more about your appearance. I know that you are tall. But you must answer me this: are you awfully old or just a little old? And are you perfectly bald or just a little bald? You see, I’ve imagined you as a tall, old man of at least eighty three. I can picture your whole body from your toes all the way up to your nose, but when I get to the top of your head, I draw a blank. I don’t know if I should picture you with gray hair or no hair at all. Given a tall, rich man who hates girls, but is very generous to one girl, what does he look like?_

_I know that I’m never to expect any responses from you, but just have your secretary tell me. All he has to say is:_

_Mr. Smith is quite bald._

_OR_

_Mr. Smith is not bald._

_OR_

_Mr. Smith has gray hair._

_I hope you will answer soon. This is very important._

_Yours,_

_FS_

* * *

 

_December 19, 1908_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_You never answered my last letter. Color me disappointed._

_But I cannot stay mad at you, Daddy._

_I must confess that, as I write to you today, I am not in the best mood. You see, I’m an idiot._

_I didn’t know that Henry VIII was married more than once. I didn’t know Alexander the Great had conquered most of Greece or that humans evolved from monkeys. I didn’t know that the Garden of Eden was all just a beautiful myth. I never read Great Expectations or Pride and Prejudice or Little Women._

_I didn’t know that Isaac Newton had three laws of motion. I’d never heard the Moonlight Sonata. I’d never heard of Lillian Russell or Gilbert and Sullivan. I didn’t know that Monet was a painter. And, you may laugh at me, but I thought George Eliot was absolutely, without question, a man._

_I feel like I’m Alice in Wonderland (which is another book I had never read before)._

_I have decided to stay at school over the holidays. I will spend every waking moment in the library reading every single book I can get my hands on._

_I’m so many years behind._

_I must sleep now, Daddy. But I will think of you. And there is still so much more catching up to do._

_Yours with love,_

_Felicity_

_P.S._ _Maybe it isn’t proper to send love? But you see, it’s Christmas soon, and I feel I must have someone to love on Christmas. And the only other person I have to choose from is Mrs. Abbott and I do not love her. I hope it does not bother you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regarding Felicity’s religion: I don’t want anyone to think I’m erasing her Judaism. I just think that (in this fic) she was raised in an orphanage in the late 19th century/early 20th and people in her position just kinda believed what they were raised to believe (and Judaism wasn’t exactly the popular religion of the day).
> 
> If it helps, you could just think of this Felicity as an alternate version to the Felicity from the show. Like Earth Four Felicity (or whatever Earth you choose). According to the Multiverse Theory, anything is possible. There could be an Earth where Felicity is a lesbian. Just like there could be an Earth where Felicity’s not Jewish.
> 
> *shrugging emoji*


	7. What Does She Mean By Love?

It was three days until Christmas and, instead of having tea with his family, Oliver was in his study staring, fervently, at Miss Smoak’s latest letter.

Baffling. That’s the only word Oliver could think of. What a curious post script. What was she thinking of?

Why was she sending him _love_?

She said it was because she wanted to have someone to love on Christmas. Understandable. But why even mention it at all if it didn’t mean anything?

_Get a grip, Oliver!_

There were more types of love than just romantic love. Oliver loved his sister. He loved his best friend, Tommy.

But, if she meant platonic love, why didn’t she just say that?

_What does she mean by “love”?_

Oliver paced his study back and forth, gripping the letter tightly in his hand.

He can quote Shakespeare, for God’s sake! And yet he can’t even figure out what some eighteen year old girl means when she sends him her love?

Without warning, a thought occurred to him. Why was this even bothering him so much? Why does it matter what this girl says unless...?

It’s true that he hadn’t expected her to be so clever and witty. And he often found himself anxiously awaiting her next letter even though he tried not to. And...he may have missed one or two work appointments so that he could read her letters.

But it just couldn’t be!

_What am I even afraid of? It’s just a word! It was written in haste, I can’t possibly bother to know what she meant!_

One thought kept gnawing at the back of Oliver’s mind: Laurel. The girl he had loved long ago. The girl who was now happily married to his best friend. And he couldn’t be happier _for_ them. He didn’t love Laurel anymore. He hadn’t for a long time. Love was not meant to last. At least, not for Oliver Queen.

But this girl, Miss Smoak...

_Felicity._

Oliver couldn’t help the small groan that escaped his lips. Even her name tasted like honey in his mouth.

“Fe-li-ci-ty.” Oliver sounded her name out aloud, savoring every syllable.

Oliver’s eyes drifted back to her letter, still in his hand, and that damn word.

_What does she mean by “love”? And what does she intend to make me feel...?_


	8. I’m a Beast

_January 15, 1909_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_I have some awful, awful news to tell you. I’m afraid you will be terribly disappointed in me. But bad news is no way to begin a letter, so I will share the good things first._

_I fixed the lights in Caitlin and Thea’s room! Over the holidays, something had gone wrong with the wiring in their room and, since it was the holidays, no one could be brought in to fix it so I rolled up my sleeves and used the makeshift toolkit I brought with me from the John Grier Home and I fixed it! It felt so wonderful that I was almost tempted to undo all my work just so I could fix it again! I didn’t tell Caitlin and Thea, though, when they returned. It felt unnecessary—it would just feel like I was boasting, and although I am rather proud of myself, I didn’t want to come off as vain. So I kept my mouth shut and they’re both still completely unaware that there was ever a problem at all._

_Let me see if I can think of something else pleasant to tell you. Oh yes! I think something must’ve happened to Thea over the holidays because she’s really nice now. Yesterday, she came to my room just for a social call and stayed for a solid hour. We talked about lots of things—she asked me if I enjoyed the holidays, she asked about my family (I told her the same thing I told Caitlin), she also told me a little about her family (apparently, her father has passed away but she still has a mother and an older brother named Oliver). She also offered to take me to town on Saturday and we could go shopping together. I’m not exactly sure what’s caused her attitude to change so completely, but I suppose I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth (isn’t that such a funny phrase, Daddy? I read it in one of my books over the break and it made me laugh!)._

_What else? Today is the sunniest winter afternoon! It’s almost blinding! There is snow and icicles everywhere and everything is so bright it hurts my eyes if I stare too long._

_I suppose I should stop delaying now and just share my news. Courage Felicity!_

_I hope you’re in a good mood—I failed in English Literature and physiology. I am tutoring in both subjects and will take another examination mext month. I know you must be disappointed in me. But I’ve learned so much since I came here! Even more than what they teach in the classroom. I’ve read seventeen novels and I laughed when I discovered that people used to believe that the Earth was at the center of the universe. How absurd! I think I’d like to go up into space and explore the stars. I could be the first person on the moon! Wouldn’t that be a sight? Couldn’t you just imagine it, Daddy? Felicity Smoak gallivanting up there amongst the stars! The point is, I’m much more intelligent than what those examinations say. But will you forgive me if I promise to never fail again?_

_Yours,_

_Felicity Smoak_

* * *

 

_February 20, 1909_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_I must confess that I’m rather lonely tonight. I was hoping that you would’ve answered my last letter. Maybe offered me some advice or words of encouragement. I was feeling quite down because of my failure. I tried to make it seem like it wasn’t as big of a deal in my letter, but truthfully, I was actually quite worried._

_But I heard nothing from you. But that’s fine. I was never to expect anything from you anyways._

_I had a supper party tonight with Caitlin and Thea and another friend of mine named Lena Luthor. We had salad and ham and boiled potatoes and fudge and coffee. Thea and Lena both left after coffee but Caitlin stayed to help me wash the dishes._

_I took my re-examinations. I will get the results in a few weeks and will let you know._

_Goodnight,_

_Felicity_

* * *

 

_March 26, 1909_

_Dear Mr. Smith,_

_Sir, you never answer my questions. You never show the slightest interest in anything I do. You are probably the most horrid one of all those horrid Trustees and I know that the only reason that you are educating me is not because you actually care about me, but out of a sense of duty._

_I don’t know a single thing about you. I don’t even know your name. It is very disconcerting writing to a Thing. I have no doubt that you throw my letters in the trash bin without reading them. Hereafter, I shall only write about my studies. That is what you wanted after all._

_It’s my own fault really. I was stupid. I should’ve just done what you asked from the start instead of getting it into my head that you could actually be something like a friend._

_I passed both of my re-examinations. We’re currently reading Les Miserables in French and writing reactions to Shakespeare’s plays in English Literature. Mine is about Hamlet. We’re learning about the reproductive systems in physiology, the lost city of Pompeii in Latin, and the Pythagorean theorem in geometry._

_Yours respectfully,_

_Felicity Smoak_

* * *

 

_April 2, 1909_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_ I’m a beast. _

_Please forget all about that letter I sent you last week. I was mean and I was mad. I was feeling terribly lonely and miserable and I had a sore throat the night I wrote you that awful letter. I was feeling like a burden and I was hurt, but I promise I didn’t mean anything I said. In fact, after I closed the letter I cried the whole rest of the night. I wouldn’t blame you if you hate me now and wanted to cut me off._

_I didn’t know it at the time, but when I wrote that letter, I was on the cusp of tonsillitis. I’m in the infirmary now and have been here for six days. I wanted to write you earlier to apologize, but the head nurse is very bossy and she wouldn’t let me have a pen and paper until now._

_I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I cannot get better until you forgive me._

_I cannot write any longer because it’s too hard to sit up for very long, but I promise I will write again soon._

_Yours,_

_FS_

* * *

 

_April 4, 1909_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_Yesterday evening, as the sun was going down, I was looking out the window of the infirmary, staring at the rain and feeling awfully bored with life when the nurse delivered a long white box addressed to me. And guess what was inside? The loveliest pink rosebuds (which I know will be absolutely beautiful when they bloom). But what was more intriguing was the little card._

_Thank you, Daddy, a thousand times thank you. I actually laid down and cried at receiving your gift. That’s how much of a baby I am! No one has ever sent me flowers before!_

_When I sent that letter last week (which I sincerely hope you burned), I believed you didn’t care about me. But now I know that you do. And now that I know for sure that you read my letters, I will try to make them more interesting._

_Thank you again for the flowers. I know you must have lots of loving family and friends so you don’t know what it’s like to be alone. But I do. You have no idea what this means to me._

_You are real. You’re not just a figment of my imagination, you’re a real person. So I pledge with all my heart that I will be successful and make you proud._

_And now I must say goodnight for I am still very sick and need to rest. I promise I will never be horrid to you again or bother you with anymore questions._

_Well, actually, I do have one last question—do you still hate girls?_

_Yours forever,_

_Felicity_


	9. When Shall We Meet?

_May 2, 1909_

_Dear Miss Smoak,_

_I put pen to paper with some trepidation, but with the feeling, after your last letter, that I really do owe you some sort of response._

_I want to write you back but I don’t know what to say. How can I explain that I’m not really old? And I’m not, at all, the man that you imagine. I’m not, at all, the man you would expect. But, Felicity, would you object?_

_I know that my own rules of engagement forbid any sort of communication from me to you, but only last month I was guilty of sending you a bouquet of flowers so I suppose the damage is already done._

_And, to be completely honest, it’s getting very hard to obstain from responding. Every time I read your letters I long to interject my observations. I must confess I’m bursting with opinions and advice. But, Felicity, would they suffice?_

_I shall motor up to the college one of these afternoons and introduce myself. But I should warn you: I’m not good at friendship. Or attachmetnt. Or commitment. I mostly despise my relations—in fact, Thea is the only member of my family that I actually get along with._

_Felicity..._

Oliver set his pen down and sat back in his chair. No, no this wouldn’t do. He couldn’t reveal himself like this.

Without another thought, Oliver tore up the letter-in-progress and threw it in the trash bin.

He had already sent her that bouquet of flowers and the card. That was more than she was ever meant to expect from him. He already struggled to not pour his heart and soul into that card. That damn card.

_I must congratulate you on passing your re-examinations. And I am very sorry to hear that you’ve been ill. I hope these will give you cheer during your recovery._

_Mr. Smith_

That’s what he told her. What he had really wanted to say in that note was that he was sorry for making her think that he didn’t care about her. He wanted to tell her that he _did_ care about her. More than that, in fact, if he was being completely honest with himself.

But he couldn’t say anything. Truthfully, he didn’t feel worthy of her. She was young and so bright-eyed. He was older and his soul was weighed down by the bad things he had done in his past.

Despite this, he still desperately wanted to meet her. He simply couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to be able to put a face to the name.

So he decided to write to his sister instead.

_Dearest Thea,_

_I have decided that it’s about time I came to visit you and see your school. Mother and I are both so proud of you, and as your first year comes to a close, I want to be able to see where you study for myself._

_Sometime soon I hope to have a break from my busy schedule and I will motor up to the college so we can spend the afternoon together. You can show me around the school and introduce me to your friends._

_I look forward to seeing you, Speedy._

_Your brother with love,_

_O_

This way, he would still get to meet her, but under the guise of the man he really was. He was just Thea’s brother. Daddy Long Legs will remain discreet.

It was better this way. At least, for now.


	10. The Color of Your Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here it is! The most long-awaited and highly anticipated chapter! I really hope it lives up to your expections.
> 
> I know most of you will probably skip over this, but for those who don’t: Since we’re at the halfway point here, I guess I should say that I’m totally blown away by the response to this fic so thank you so much for that! And even if I don’t respond to your comment I do read them all!
> 
> Okay I’ll shut up now and let you get to it.

It was a bright and sunny and warm Sunday and Oliver finally had enough free time from work so he decided to take the train to visit Thea at school (and possibly meet Felicity, but he wouldn’t tell anyone of that).

He arrived just after two o’clock in the afternoon meaning he wouldn’t have much time to visit before he had to catch his six o’clock train back. But he hoped it was at least enough time.

He hadto wait in the reception room of the Visiting Center where anyone who wanted to visit a student had to go first and wait while a receptionist contacted the student they wished to visit.

He waited for about fifteen minutes, but his sister still hadn’t arrived. He was about to stand up and ask the receptionist if she had been able to contact Thea when he was approached by a petite, bespectacled blonde.

“Hello. Are you Oliver Queen, Thea’s brother?” The young blonde asked him. She looked to be about Thea’s age.

“Yes.” He nodded in answering.

“Hi. I’m Felicity, I’m a friend of your sister’s. Unfortunately, Thea has been held up so she asked me if I would come meet you and keep you entertained until she was able to come and see you. Those were her words, not mine.”

Oliver paused for a moment processing everything the woman said. Thea was unavailable so she sent her friend to entertain him until she could meet him. And this friend who was named... _oh_ _wait_. “What did you say your name was again?”

“Felicity. Smoak.” the young woman replied with a small smile. “I live in the same building as your sister, across the hall actually.”

Oh. _Oh._

This young woman was _her_. Felicity. His Felicity. (Well, not _his_ Felicity, just his Felicity as in the orphan he was sponsoring.)

Unfortunately, as his thoughts were reeling at having just met _the_ Felicity Smoak, he had yet to actually respond and didn’t realize that he was openly staring at her until she pulled him out of his thoughts.

“Are you okay, Mr. Queen? You seem a little out of sorts.” Felicity asked him gently.

Oliver shook his head slightly to clear his thoughts, “Yes, I’m very well, thank you. And please call me Oliver.” Oliver told her and then he held out his hand for her to shake (which she did and Oliver absolutely didn’t notice how soft her hand was or how perfectly it fit into his own).

“Okay. Oliver.” Felicity said with a nervous— _was_ _she_ _really_ _nervous?_ —chuckle. “Well, Thea said that you were planning on taking a tour of the campus. I could show you, if you want to see it.” Felicity said before leaning in close to him and lowering her voice, “and between you and me, I’m probably a better guide anyway. Thea rarely pays attention to anything except her own reflection. We’ve been here for almost a year and she still has to be guided to most of her classes because she doesn’t pay enough attention to her surroundings to remember.” Felicity quickly closed her mouth, backing away from him with wide eyes. “But don’t tell Thea I said that. She’s a nice enough girl, she’s just a Queen, you know?” Felicity’s eyes grew wider and she backtracked quickly to correct herself. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course. I wasn’t trying to imply that you’re like that. I don’t know you. But what I do know is that I should stop talking now.” Felicity promptly shut her mouth and her eyes and took several deep breaths.

Oliver took advantage of Felicity’s closed eyes and let a grin spread across his face and a silent chuckle escape his lips. She was just as witty in person as she was in her letters—albeit, slightly more awkward. She didn’t ramble this way in her letters, but he supposed that was because when writing a letter, one could plan ahead what they wanted to say whereas that advantage didn’t exist in spoken conversation.

After a few moments, Felicity’s eyes finally fluttered open and she smiled. “Allow me to start over. My name is Felicity Smoak. I’m a friend of your sister’s and she sent me to keep you company until she could meet you. Would you like me to show you around the college?”

“Yes, that sounds wonderful.” Oliver gave her a polite smile before picking up his walking stick and hat and heading out the door after her.

* * *

 

_May 30, 1909_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_Did you ever see this campus? (That was merely a rhetorical question, please do not be annoyed.) It is such a beautiful place in May. All the flowers have bloomed and the trees are so full and green. There are dandelions everywhere and all the girls are in brightly colored dresses—going to class is like being in a sea of light blue, white, pink, and yellow. Everyone is so joyous and care-free and excited about the impending summer vacation. (And with that to look forward to, it’s easy to forget that we have to get through examinations first.)_

_But, of course, I’m the happiest of all because I’m not at the orphanage anymore! Here at school I’m no one’s nurse or housekeeper or caretaker (and I would still be those things if it weren’t for you)._

_I am sorry now for all my past misbehavior. I’m sorry I was ever impertinent to Mrs. Abbott. I’m sorry for all the times I smacked Mick Rory’s hand with a wooden spoon—although, in my defense, I only did that when he was misbehaving. I’m sorry I ever filled the sugar bowl with salt. And I’m sorry I ever made fun of the Trustees behind their backs (I’m especially sorry if I ever did it to you, Daddy)._

_You know, I was talking with Caitlin and we were talking about misanthropy (which is a very fine word that I’ve just learned). I realize that I cannot stand people like that. Everyone has gone through trials and tribulations in their life, but what really defines a person is being able to come through their suffering to the other side and become a better, kinder person. I have no time for people who use their sorrows as an excuse to be unkind and hateful. (I hope you are not a misanthrope, Daddy.)_

_But oh! I was telling you about the campus before I got distracted—I beg your pardon, Daddy. I wish you would come visit me someday. I’m very good at showing people around. I did it all the time at the John Grier Home and I’ve been doing it all afternoon today._

_You see, there was a man on campus today. A Real Adult Man. I’ve never talked to a Real Adult Man before. And you’ll never guess who it was either. Mr. Oliver Queen, Thea’s older brother. Apparently, he had come because he felt he was long overdue to visit his sister. (But, unfortunately, he didn’t actually get to see her because she was stuck with a lot of work and couldn’t escape it). When Mr. Queen arrived, Thea came to my room and asked me to entertain him until she was available to meet him. I agreed—reluctantly because I was not so keen about having to interact with a Queen. Although Thea has radically improved since the first time we met, I figured she had to learn that behavior from somewhere which most likely meant her family. But I went anyway._

_He is not a Queen at all. In fact, he reminds me of you, Daddy—in much younger days, of course. Like you, but forty or fifty years ago. Anyway, when I first saw him sitting in the reception room, he was very proper with his hat and walking stick sitting neatly on his lap—in all honesty, I briefly wondered if there was something wrong with him because he looked terribly rigid and not very relaxed as he sat. But I think that’s just how he is. And then he stood up and he is very tall. Almost as tall as you._

_Oh I wish you would’ve been there, Daddy! We walked around the campus and I showed him all the buildings. He asked me lots of questions and he actually seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say. He’s a very amiable man. After we finished the tour he insisted that we go for tea to recover from the long walk. So we went to the College Inn which has a small outdoor cafe. He also insisted on not only paying for himself but me too. I tried to say that I was perfectly capable of paying for my own tea, but he wouldn’t hear of it (he’s very stubborn it seems)._

_While we were at tea he asked me lots of questions about my interests. When I started talking about engineering and computing, it seemed to me that he had absolutely no idea what I was talking about, but it also seemed like he didn’t mind. It’s funny because while we talked it didn’t feel like we were perfect strangers at all. It felt as though I had known him my whole life. He even laughed at all my jokes (even though I know for a fact that my jokes are not very funny because I don’t think I really have enough life experience to be funny)._

_I’m feeling more like a girl and less like a child._

_And then, after we had finished our tea and desserts, we walked back to Ferguson Hall. He even offered me his arm! (I blushed!—I hope he didn’t see). Unfortunately, we had to hurry back because he had to catch his train. And Thea got angry because he didn’t even have time to say goodbye to her._

_Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could be friends, Daddy? Don’t you think it would be better if I could write to you knowing your name or your age or the color of your eyes? (Oliver’s eyes are blue by the way). But that wouldn’t matter if I could meet you._

_Monday._

_It’s Monday now and this morning, three boxes of chocolates arrived for Thea, Caitlin, and myself—from Oliver! (Oh, and I think I forgot to mention that he insisted I call him Oliver instead of Mr. Queen. Thea calls him Ollie, but I think I like Oliver better. Ollie sounds like the name of a rambunctious young boy and doesn’t seem fit for a grown man.)_

_This has been a terribly long letter, Daddy, probably my longest yet. And you probably think I’m rather silly for writing so much about a man, so I will end it here._

_Your friend,_

_Felicity_

_P.S._ _~~What color are your eyes?~~ Sorry, I know I promised I would never ask you anymore questions._


	11. The Secret of Happiness

_June 2, 1909_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_I have just received a letter from Mrs. Abbott. She sends the usual pleasentries—expects that I am doing well in my studies etc—and says that since she believes I have nowhere else to go this summer she wishes me to return to the John Grier Home and work for my board until school resumes._

_I HATE THE JOHN GRIER HOME. I’d rather die than go back—which I know sounds rather dramatic, but you don’t know what it’s really like there; you only see it on the one day a month where everything is Perfect._

_I don’t know what I’m going to do._

_Yours ever,_

_Felicity Smoak_

A scowl formed on Oliver’s face as he read her latest letter. He couldn’t in all good conscious send her back to that place.

Oliver called for Diggle who arrived in his study within moments.

“Diggle, I want you to write a letter to Miss Smoak telling her that she should spend the summer at Lock Willow Farm; it was a place that Tommy and I would visit during the summer when we were boys. After my father died I bought the farm. But don’t tell her it was my suggestion. And then I want you to write a letter to Raisa, the woman who rents the farm from me, and ask her if she would let Miss Smoak stay there for the summer, but I don’t want Raisa to know that I’m involved at all because I don’t want her to accidentally slip up and reveal to Miss Smoak who I really am. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.” Diggle responded in his cool, professional voice, but Oliver knew the man well enough to know that he was biting back a remark.

“Is there something you’d like to say, Diggle?”

“No, sir.”

And before anymore words could be exchanged between the two, Diggle promptly left the room.

* * *

 

Ju _ne 4, 1909_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_You are an angel!_

_I’ve never been on a farm before! I can’t wait. Please thank your secretary for the suggestion. You have truly made me the happiest girl in the world! With any luck I will never have to see the John Grier Home again!_

_Happily yours,_

_Felicity_

* * *

_June 9, 1909_

_Happy day! I have just finished my last examination—physiology. And now: three months on a farm!_

_I don’t know what to expect from a farm, but I know I am going to love it. I am going to love being free._

_Even after all this time, I’m still not used to being outside the John Grier Home. I keep having this recurring nightmare where I’m running away from the orphanage, but Mrs. Abbott is chasing me and no matter how fast I run she always catches up with me and drags me back to the Home forever._

_Anyway, I must leave you now for I have so much packing to do!_

_Yours ever,_

_Felicity_

* * *

_June 12, 1909_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_I have only just arrived at Lock Willow Farm and I haven’t even unpacked yet, but I just wanted to tell you how much I love farms!_

_It is so beautiful here! On the drive up, the road was lined with very large maple trees on both sides—I don’t think I’ve seen so many in my life! The main house sits on top of a hill. Apparently, the house is very old. It was built about a hundred years ago at least. It has a veranda on one side and a very lovely porch in the front. There used to be a barn across from the house, but it was struck by lightning one day and burned to the ground._

_The woman that runs the farm is named Raisa—she has a very interesting accent that I’ve never heard before; apparently she comes from a place called Russia but that’s all she would say about it. There is also a hired girl and two hired men. The workers eat in the kitchen and Raisa and I eat in the dining room. For supper we had ham and eggs and biscuits and honey and pie and pickles and cheese and tea—and a great deal of conversation. Everything I say is funny to Raisa. I suppose that’s just because I ask a lot of questions that truly show my ignorance about life in the country._

_The room I will be staying in is big and perfectly square. It has adorable old-fashioned wooden furniture and windows with green shutters. There’s also a large mahogany table where I can work on my latest project—but I can’t tell you about that just quite yet, it’s a secret!_

_Oh Daddy, I’m so excited! I can’t wait until daylight so I can explore. It’s 8:30 now and I am going to bed soon. I’m supposed to be awake at five o’clock in the morning._

_You have given me so much more than I deserve._

_Goodnight,_

_Felicity_

_P.S._ _You should hear the crickets chirping and the frogs croaking! It’s quite delightful._

* * *

_July 12, 1909_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_How did your secretary come to know about Lock Willow? (That isn’t a rhetorical question, I am awfully curious to know.) I only ask because you’ll never believe this: Mr. Oliver Queen owns this farm, but he gave it to Raisa who was his old housekeeper growing up. Have you ever heard of such a funny coincidence? She still calls him “Mister Oliver” and talks about what a sweet little boy he used to be. She even has one of his curls from when he was a little baby saved in a box—it’s kind of a dirty/sandy blonde!_

_I also think she likes me a lot more after I told her that I know him. Raisa says that Oliver is the best man she’s ever known. It seems not all the Queens are haughty, vile people._

_The farm gets better and better every day. I rode on a hay wagon yesterday. We have three big pigs and nine little piglets, and you should see them eat. They are pigs! We also have oceans of chickens and ducks and turkeys. It’s my job to collect the eggs every day. I fell off a beam in the barn loft yesterday while I was trying to crawl over to the black hen’s nest. I came in with a skinned knee and Raisa patched me up. “Dear, Dear! It seems only yesterday that Mister Oliver fell off the very same beam and skinned that very same knee!” is what she said._

_Sunday_

_I find that it isn’t safe to discuss religion with Raisa. Her God is a mean, unjust, revengeful, wrathful, bigoted man. Thank heavens I didn’t inherit a God from anybody! I am free to make mine up as I wish! She is kind and sympathetic and imaginative and forgiving and understanding and has a sense of humor. I like Raisa immensely, but she is better than her own God. I told her so and she thinks I’m blasphemous—and I think she is! Needless to say, we no longer discuss theology._

_Oh! Have I told you? I found a book in the attic today called On the Trail. And there was a note scrawled on the inside cover in little boy handwriting. It said: Oliver Queen, if this book should ever roam box it’s ears and send it home._

_Apparently he and his friend Tommy Merlyn used to spend their summers here as children. There’s also a box of some of Oliver’s old things from when he used to come here (it seems that he was quite keen on archery as a child). Raisa talks about him so constantly—he was always leaving the screen door open and was always asking for cookies and once, when he and Tommy were eleven, they purposely left the doors to the chicken coup open and set all the chickens free. At the time, Raisa was fearful angry but it seems, with time, she’s able to look back on the incident with amusement. “Boys will be boys!” she exclaimed. According to Raisa, Oliver was a brave and adventurous little boy. I’m sorry to think that he’s a Queen; he deserves so much better._

_It grieves me to tell you that Buttercup the spotted cow has done a very bad thing. She got into the orchard Friday evening and ate so many apples that they went to her head and for two days now she has been perfectly drunk! Did you ever hear of anything so scandalous?_

_I remain your affectionate orphan,_

_Felicity_

* * *

_August 15, 1909_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_Today has been a dreadful day._

_First off, I didn’t hear the rooster crow so I woke up late which caused me to arrive late for breakfast so I had to eat quickly and that caused me hiccups all morning. Then, when I was collecting the eggs, I tripped over a crack in the floor of the barn and all my eggs came spilling out of my basket and they were all perfectly ruined! I thought things were looking up when I got through the rest of the morning without any trouble, but then, as I was walking up to the house for lunch, I fell in a pit of mud and got caked in it!_

_It got me thinking. Most people believe that it’s the big challenges of life that require the most character, but I disagree. I think the mark of true spirit is the ability to rise above all the petty hazards of the day._

_I think that’s the real secret of happiness, Daddy. You cannot mourn the past. But you also cannot focus too much on the future. You just have to live in the now and enjoy the ride! Living in the time it takes to blink is how I think we’re meant to be living. And even though it’s fun to run and be free, sometimes you just need to take a breath and be still._

_I hope that you live your life one day at a time, Daddy. I know it can be immensely difficult—I feel it when I’m at school, I spend so much time worrying about my studies. I will just need to remind myself to stay calm and take life as it comes. Fretting about things you can’t control just leads to misery._

_Anyway, I’m feeling awfully tired and would very much like to go to bed now. I wish you well, Daddy dear._

_Yours ever,_

_Felicity_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know that a lot of you were wanting to see Oliver’s perspective on meeting Felicity and there wasn’t any of that in this chapter (although you did get some in the last chapter), just be patient. All in good time, there is a plan here.


	12. The Color of Your Eyes (Reprise)

_September 15, 1909_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_Isn’t it funny? I sat down to write you yesterday and guess what I saw sitting on my desk? A daddy long legs! Not a you kind of daddy long legs, but a real one. I picked him up by one of his long legs and dropped him out the window. It reminded me of you._

_You know, Daddy, I’ve been thinking. I am going to be starting my sophomore year soon and it would be lovely if you came to visit me sometime. I could show you around my school and introduce you to my friends._

_I’m starting to think that maybe you don’t like me. Maybe you read these letters and laugh at how stupid and silly I am. If you don’t like me, that’s fine—we can’t be liked by everyone—but you could at least say that. All you have to do is write to me and say:_

_Miss Felicity Smoak I find you very silly and frivolous and I do not care for you in the slightest._

_I’ll admit that I might be a bit disappointed at first, but I would get over it quickly—I have other friends after all. And as long as you continued to support my education, I wouldn’t mind if you don’t like me._

_Think about it. Answer soon._

_Yours,_

_Felicity Smoak_

Oliver leaned back in his desk chair as he finished her letter.

_I’m starting to think that maybe you don’t like me._

If she only knew...

Oliver had been charmed by her from her very first letter. And he had really started to care for her after she sent him that angry letter in March and then quickly apologized for it. And when he actually met her in person...well, he was enchanted. He hadn’t expected her to be so beautiful. That blonde hair that glowed in the sunlight and made her appear as if she had a halo, her big blue eyes that still sparkled even behind her spectacles, her smile...

During their tea, she had gone on and on about engineering and programming and computing—he hadn’t understood a single word of it, but he just enjoyed listening to her talk. He enjoyed seeing her so passionate about something. In all his monthly visits to the John Grier Home he had never come across Felicity, but he knew Mrs. Abbott. Mrs. Abbott didn’t like imagination and creativity. She immediately snuffed it out of any child who showed even a hint. So Oliver could imagine how oppressive that environment would’ve been to someone like Felicity. Seeing her actually allowed to have a passion for probably the first time in her life—it reminded him of exactly why he sponsored those orphans.

But there was just something about her. Something more.

Oliver had sponsored Mr. Harper and Mr. Allen but he never desired to meet them and spend time with them the way he did with Felicity. When Harper and Allen were sent back to the John Grier Home during their holidays, he never intervened—even though it’s entirely possible they hated the orphanage just as much as Felicity.

Oliver got up from behind his desk and called Diggle into his study. Although, Oliver went right back to his desk chair as Diggle entered.

“Do you think I’m mad, Diggle?” Oliver asked before Diggle could say a word.

“Sir, I’m not here to provide a commentary.” Diggle replied in his calm, professional voice.

“Oh, come on, Diggle! Speak freely.”

“I don’t know what you are referring to, sir.”

“Yes you do. You’ve been wanting to comment on it for months. Well now, here’s your chance.” Oliver stood up from his chair once again and began pacing the room.

“Miss Smoak.” Diggle said flatly, not asking a question, not needing to.

“Yes.” Oliver answered regardless.

“What would you like me to say, sir?”

“First of all, I’d like you to drop the ‘sir’, you know how much I hate that. Say whatever you’ve been wanting to say for the past several months.”

“You seem to care a great deal about her.”

“Yes.” Oliver responded tersely. His pacing quickened, he was getting a bit impatient with Diggle.

“You sent her to Lock Willow...” Diggle stated and Oliver breathed out another “yes” in response. “...but you still didn’t want to disclose your true identity. You made me go to great lengths to conceal that.”

“What’s your point, Diggle?”

“Why? Why go through all that trouble? Why not just tell her?”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because...what if she rejects me? What if she hates me and never wants to speak to me again?”

“But why would any of that matter if she’s just some girl you’re sponsoring?”

“She’s not just some girl!” Oliver proclaimed, perhaps a little louder than was strictly necessary. Diggle just stared at him with his trademark stoicism. It set Oliver even more on edge. “I told you to speak freely, Diggle. You cannot clam up now. You said it yourself, why would I do all these things for some orphan girl? I cannot begin to understand it myself. I’ve never felt this way before. You didn’t know me before I returned from my travels after college. You didn’t know me when I was with Laurel. My mother once told me that when you’re in love, _really_ in love, you miss that person constantly. You long for them when they’re away, you can hardly think about anything except them. You want their happiness even above your own. I never felt that way with Laurel. I loved her, but I don’t think I was really _in_ love with her.”

“But you feel that way about Miss Smoak?”

Oliver immediately stopped pacing and just stood frozen for a long while. Diggle didn’t say anything. Neither did Oliver. There was nothing but silence in the room.

And all the while, Oliver’s mind raced.

_Is Diggle right? Do I really love...?_

Oliver had tried to deny it for so long. Everything he did for her—sending her flowers, sending her to Lock Willow—he convinced himself that he was just being a good patron. But he couldn’t deny the signs any longer, they were all there. He had gone far beyond the duties of a good patron.

“Yes.” Oliver breathed out like a sigh.

“Then you should tell her the truth before it’s too late and you lose her.”

“No, I can’t. It’s too risky. You just don’t understand, Diggle. You may go.” Oliver instructed. Diggle tried to object but Oliver just waved him off. “Please leave I have a lot of work to do.”

And that was the end of it. Diggle left the room and Oliver went back to his desk. He gave one last glance to Felicity’s latest letter before placing it in the desk drawer where he kept all her letters. He shut the drawer and he shut the letters out of his mind.


	13. Sophomore Year Studies

_September 25, 1909_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_Behold me—a sophomore! I came up last Friday, sorry to leave Lock Willow, but glad to see the campus again. As much as I love exploring new places, there’s something quite pleasant about returning to a familiar place. I’m beginning to feel at home in college. In fact, I’m beginning to feel at home in the world—as though I really belong in it and am not an outsider looking in anymore._

_I suppose you don’t understand in the slightest what I’m saying. Someone as rich and important as you can’t understand what it’s like to be an inconsequential orphan._

_But now onto cheerier things! You will never guess who I am rooming with this year. Caitlin and Thea! We have a nice study and each of our own bedrooms. My bedroom and Caitlin’s are next to each other and Thea’s is on the other side of the main room._

_Caitlin and I had decided last spring that we wanted to room together and Thea was determined to stay with Caitlin—why, I cannot say for I did not think they were very close. But it seems stubbornness is a family trait with the Queens. Just think of it, Felicity Smoak, formerly of the John Grier Home for Orphans, living with a Queen! This is truly a democratic country._

_Caitlin is running for class president and she will certainly be elected. You should see what politicians we are. Oh, I tell you, Daddy, when we women get our rights you men will have to look alive in order to keep yours! The election is next Saturday and we are going to have a party afterwards no matter who wins._

_This year I am taking chemistry—I can’t wait, I do so love science! I’m also taking philosophy, world history, the plays of William Shakespeare—we studied Shakespeare in English Literature last year, but only briefly; Thea somehow talked me into this class—and French (again). I would’ve rather taken economics than French, but I was afraid that if I didn’t re-elect French, the professor wouldn’t let me pass. At least I’ll have Caitlin and Thea; it’s the one class all three of us have together. I say, if I keep on this course, I will be on my way to being very intelligent._

_There is one girl in the class who speaks in French as well as she does in English. Apparently she spent two years in a French boarding school. I wish my parents—whoever they were—would’ve sent me to a French boarding school instead of an orphanage. Oh wait! what am I saying? No, I don’t! If I hadn’t been in that orphanage than I would have never known you. And I would rather know you than French._

_Goodbye, Daddy. I must call on Sara Lance now to study for chemistry (and while we study I may also casually discuss who she plans to vote for to be class president)._

_Yours in politics,_

_F. Smoak_

* * *

_October 17, 1909_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_Suppose a swimming pool was filled with lemon jelly—if someone were trying to swim in it, would they be able to stay on top or would they sink?_

_We were having lemon jelly for dessert when the question came up. We discussed it for half an hour and it’s still unresolved. Caitlin thinks that she could swim in it, but I’m perfectly sure that even the best swimmer in the world would sink. Wouldn’t it be funny to be drowned in lemon jelly?_

_Two other problems are capturing the attention of our table._

_First: What shape are the rooms in an octagon house? Some of the girls insist that they’re square, but I think they’d have to be triangles; like the shape of a piece of pie. What do you think?_

_Second: Suppose there was a great big hollow sphere made of mirrors and you were sitting inside. Where would it stop reflecting your face and start reflecting your back? The more we discuss the problem, the more puzzling it becomes._

_Did I ever tell you about the election? It happened three weeks ago, but with this fast-paced world we live in, three weeks ago is ancient history. Caitlin was elected. We had a party and a parade in the courtyard. There was a band and a giant banner that read “SNOW FOREVER”._

_We’re very important people now in 258—that’s our room number by the way. Thea and I have come into a great deal of reflected glory; we’re practically famous on campus (although Thea was already somewhat famous for being a Queen). I suppose that’s what happens when you live with a president._

_Goodnight, dear Daddy._

_Yours ever,_

_Felicity_

* * *

_November 12, 1909_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_Caitlin has invited me to spend the Christmas vacation with her. She lives in Central City. Isn’t it so nice of her to invite me? I shall love to go! I’ve never spent time with a real family before—no, Raisa doesn’t count because she’s just one woman. The Snow-Palmer family has a house full of children, and a mother and father (step-father for Caitlin, step-mother for the two boys, but either way, they all have one of each). They also have grandparents and a cat. It’s a perfectly complete family! I am terribly excited._

_I must go now. I am helping set up the lights for the Thanksgiving theatricals._

_Yours,_

_FS_

* * *

_December 31, 1909_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_I meant to write to you earlier and thank you for your Christmas cheque, but life in the Snow-Palmer household is very enthralling and I can’t seem to find two consecutive minutes to spend at a desk._

_I bought a new gown—one that I didn’t need, but just wanted._

_I’ve been having the most wonderful time. Caitlin lives in a big old-fashioned brick house; the kind I used to see from the windows of the John Grier Home and wonder what they would look like on the inside. I never expected that I’d actually get to find out—but here I am! Everything is so comfortable and restful and homelike._

_It is the most perfect house for children to be brought up in—with shadowy nooks and corners for hide and seek, and a big attic to play in on rainy days, and a great big sunny kitchen with a nice, fat sunny cook who has worked for the family for thirteen years and always saves some extra dough for the children to bake. Just the sight of such a home makes you want to be a child all over again._

_And the family is so nice! Caitlin has a mother and step-father. Her mother and step-father have two children of their own: the sweetest little three year old girl who has the curliest hair I have ever seen and an eight year old son who always forgets to wipe his feet. Then there’s Caitlin who is her mother’s only child from her first marriage to Caitlin’s father, Mr. Snow. And then, Caitlin’s step-father has two sons from his first marriage to the late Nrs. Palmer—they’re twins and their names are Ray and Sydney. Ray is very good-looking and a junior at Princeton. Sydney doesn’t like me for reasons I don’t know, so he doesn’t talk to me._

_We have the jolliest times at the table—everybody laughs and jokes and talks all at once. And we’ve done so many things. I don’t even know where to begin! Mr. Palmer owns a factory so on Christmas Eve he got a tree for the children of the workers. It was set up in the packing room which was decorated with mistletoe and holly. Ray dressed up as Santa Claus and Caitlin, Sydney, and I helped distribute the presents. It made me feel like one of the fat, benevolent Trustees of the John Griier Home—namely the one that pat me on the cheek when I was about seven with his big, fat hand. (I didn’t pat any of these children on the cheek though.)_

_And two days after Christmas they held a dance at their own house for ME. It was the first real dance I ever attended—college doesn’t count because we only dance with girls. I had a new white evening gown and long white gloves and white satin shoes. The only thing that could’ve made it more perfect was if Mrs. Abbott got to see me in all my glory and dancing with Ray. Tell her about it the next time you visit the JGH._

_Yours ever,_

_Felicity_

* * *

_January 8, 1910_

_Dear Daddy,_

_I’ve returned to school after my wonderful holiday with Caitlin’s family. Caitlin, Thea, and I were going to walk to town today but then it started pouring. I like winter to be winter with snow instead of rain._

_Thea’s desirable brother called again this afternoon—and brought a five pound box of chocolates. It seems there are advantages to rooming with Thea._

_Our innocent prattle appeared to amuse him and he decided to take a later train so he could have tea with us in our study—although I wonder why a man such as him would want to waste his time with three silly girls such as us. It was awfully difficult getting permission (we’re not allowed to have boys in our rooms, you see). It’s hard enough to get permission for fathers and grandfathers, but for brothers it is next to impossible. Thea had to swear that he was her brother in front of a notary public and then have the county clerk’s certificate attached (heavens knows why, I know nothing about law). And I don’t know what would’ve happened if the Dean had seen how young and good-looking Big Brother Ollie is._

_Anyway, we had it—with Swiss cheese sandwiches. Oliver helped make them and then ate four. I told him that I had spent last summer at Lock Willow and we gossiped about Raisa, and he asked me how all the animals are doing—he hadn’t been there since he was a boy. All the horses he knew are dead now, except Grover who was a baby colt when Oliver last visited. And poor Grover is so old now he can barely limp about the pasture._

_He asked if Raisa still keeps her secret-recipe cookies in a yellow cookie jar on the bottom shelf of the pantry—and she does! He wanted to know if there was still a hole in the old oak tree that’s right next to the barn—and there is!_

_Thea said she’s never seen “Ollie” so amiable. He’s usually grumpy and unapproachable. But Thea doesn’t have a bit of tact; and men, I find, require a great deal. They purr if you rub them the right way and bite if you don’t. (That wasn’t a very elegant metaphor, but I meant it figuratively.)_

_And on that note, I must go now. It is still pouring rain outside—Oliver practically had to swim to the train station._

_I bid you goodnight, Daddy dear._

_Yours,_

_Felicity_

* * *

_January 20, 1910_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_Do you know about that time that I ran away from the John Grier Home? It’s all there in my record for any Trustee to read. But really, Daddy, what could you expect? When you put a very hungry nine year old in the pantry scouring for knives, with the cookie jar at her elbow, and go off and leave her alone. And then suddenly pop in again, wouldn’t you expect to find her covered in crumbs? And then you jerk her by the elbow and tell all the other children that she’s a thief, wouldn’t you expect her to run away?_

_I only ran four miles. They caught me and brought me back. And every day for a week I was tied to a pole in the backyard like a naughty puppy while all the other children were at recess._

_Oh dear! There’s the bell. I meant to write you a very entertaining letter, but alas! this will have to do._

_Your almost-John-Grier-Home-escapee,_

_Felicity_

* * *

_February 4, 1910_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_Ray Palmer has sent me a Princeton banner as big as one end of the room. I am very flattered that he remembers me, but I don’t know what on earth to do with it. Caitlin and Thea won’t let me hang it up—our room is furnished in red so you can imagine what effect it would have if I added orange and black. But it’s such nice, warm, thick felt, I hate to waste it. Would it be very improper to have it made into a bathrobe? My old one shrunk when it was washed._

_I know that, in my last several letters, I have completely forgotten to tell you about my classes. You may not believe this based on my letters, but I’ve actually hardly had time for anything else—I devote all of my time to studying (when I’m not sleeping)._

_There’s the bell! Time for chemistry. Fascinating subject, by the way. I love it!_

_Yours,_

_FS_

* * *

_March 5, 1910_

_Dear DLL,_

_I never told you how examinations went. Oh dear me! How forgetful I am!_

_I passed everything with ease. I know the secret now and will never fail again._

_We’re reading Hamlet in my Shakespeare class, which I already read last year in English Literature, but I don’t mind reading it again. Last year, I just had to read it and give my first impression of it, but this year we actually go into depth analyzing the story and characters and symbolism. It makes me enjoy it so much more!_

_Oh Daddy I wish I could write you so much more! It seems a very long time since I wrote a very detailed letter, but I have just been so pressed for time this year, it seems I haven’t a minute to spare to write long letters._

_I hope you can be satisfied with just these brief reflections._

_Yours and apologies,_

_Felicity_


	14. My Manhattan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regarding the title: So I think I mentioned that all the chapter titles are the titles of the songs from the musical? Yes I did, in the pre-chapter notes at the very beginning (I just went back to check).
> 
> Anyway, so the book and musical both take place in New York and they visit Manhattan, but obviously this fic is set in Star City. But in the interest of aesthetic (?) I decided to keep the original title “My Manhattan” even though, in this fic, it would be more like “My Star City”.
> 
> And while I have you, there’s one more thing I should say. I know I said this fic was just pure fluff but actually...it’s about to get real angsty. This is the last “fluffy” chapter and then it’s pretty much just angst from here on out until the very end. If you’re like “I didn’t sign up for that, I’m out” then let me just say thank you for coming this far, I really appreciate it! However, if you’re like “yaaaasss give me all the angst!!!” then, by all means, please proceed...

Oliver sat in his study re-reading all of Felicity’s letters since the start of the new school year to now.

In her first letter, when she said she was beginning to feel at home in the world—Oliver couldn’t fight the smile that spread across his face when he read that.

She was living with Thea, which Thea had also mentioned in one of her letters. Sometimes Oliver still couldn’t believe the coincidence. The reason he had sent Felicity to this school in the first place was because his sister was going to be attending. He had never really heard of the school before, but his mother had heard that it was one of the best colleges for girls in the country, so of course, Thea had to go there—nothing but the best for a Queen. And when Oliver decided to sponsor a girl, he figured if it was good enough for his sister then it was good enough for this orphan. Besides, he was already paying for his sister’s tuition and board and monthly allowance so he already knew the price and knew he could afford to support a second person. But he had no idea they would assign his orphan to live in the same building as his sister. And now they were actually living together in the same house. He hoped Thea would continue to be cordial. He was aware her personality was a bit of an acquired taste; she could be nice from a distance, but he wondered how Felicity’s been handeling having her around twenty-four-seven. Thea was not a morning person.

_And I would rather know you than French._

Another smile covered Oliver’s face and this time, he didn’t even try to fight it.

Her next letter was one of the most amusing things he’d ever read. Swimming in lemon jelly! Those were certainly not the kinds of conversations he had at the dinner table while in college.

She spent Christmas with her friend Caitlin Snow. And apparently became close with Miss Snow’s step-brother. A Princeton man. He obviously didn’t come from a good family, his father couldn’t even send him to a decent college. How unfortunate.

But the smile quickly returned to his face as he re-read the letter where she detailed his trip to the college. He figured that as long as he didn’t visit too often, Thea wouldn’t get suspicious. Oliver wanted to visit the college every single time he had a free afternoon, but knew that, if he did, Thea would start asking questions about why he was coming to visit so often that he just couldn’t answer. So he had to settle for one afternoon once a semester. As for why he chose that particular afternoon? Well, it certainly had nothing to do with the letter Felicity sent him on New Year’s Eve. Oliver wasn’t that immature.

He had only briefly glanced at her record when he decided to sponsor her; he had no idea that she had once tried to run away. He didn’t blame her.

Mr. Palmer sent her a completely impractical and unnecessary gift. He struck Oliver as an overgrown, overeager puppy. Not a man at all. More like a child in men’s clothing.

She loves Hamlet. Oliver couldn’t help but chuckle at that. He hated Hamlet. Actually, he didn’t really care much for Shakespeare’s dramas in general.

However, he had just heard that a theatre in the city was putting on a production of Hamlet and it was very well reviewed.

Thea certainly wouldn’t object to a weekend in the city; she loved the shopping and the atmosphere. He knew Felicity had probably never been there before and perhaps Miss Snow hadn’t either.

Oliver set Felicity’s letters aside and took out a pen and some paper to write to his sister.

_Dearest Thea,_

_Since the weather is starting to get warmer, I wondered if you and your roommates would like to spend a little cultural weekend in Star City. You can come in Friday afternoon and do some shopping and then stay the night and I will come meet you Saturday. There’s a very well-reviewed production of Hamlet going on that we could see. I could even put your friends up in a hotel if they wish. You could stay with them or stay at home with Mother and myself._

_Let me know what you think of this idea._

_Your brother,_

_O_

* * *

 

_March 24 (maybe the 25th), 1910_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_Thea and Caitlin and I have been invited to spend next weekend in Star City by Thea’s brother. On Friday we are going to be doing some spring shopping and then we’ll stay overnight and then the next day we’re going to the theatre with Oliver. Thea is going to stay at home with her family, but Caitlin and I are going to stay in a hotel. I am so excited I can hardly stand it! I’ve never been to Star City before—but I’ve heard that it’s very grand and there are dozens of skyscrapers—I’ve never stayed in a hotel before, and I’ve never been to the theatre—except once when I was young and the local Catholic Church was holding a festival and invited the orphans, but that doesn’t count because it wasn’t a real theatre, it was just the chapel in the church._

_And can you guess what play we’re going to see? Hamlet. Just imagine that! We studied it for four weeks in Shakespeare class; I know it by heart._

_I am so excited by the prospect of all of this that I can scarcely sleep. I have no idea how I’ll be able to focus on my classes for the rest of the week. Oh I know—I won’t!_

_Yours ever,_

_Felicity_

_P.S._ _I just looked at the calendar—it’s the 28th._

* * *

 

_April 7, 1910_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_Mercy, Daddy! Isn’t Star City big? Central City is nothing compared to it. Do you mean to tell me you actually live in all that confusion? It’ll take me months to recover from two days of it! I don’t even know where to begin to tell you all the amazing things we did!_

_We got in late Friday night, so we didn’t get to explore much because Caitlin and I went straight to the hotel from Grand Central Station and Thea went straight to her home. But we went shopping Saturday morning. Thea went into this one shop that was the most gorgeous place I ever saw. It had white and gold walls and blue carpets and blue silk curtains and gilt chairs. A very beautiful lady with golden blonde hair and wearing a black silk dress came to greet us with a smile (she even greeted Thea by name!). The lady shook our hands and we exchanged pleastentries—I thought it was a social call. But we were there just to buy hats—at least Thea was. She sat down in front of a mirror and tried on a dozen, each one lovelier than the last. She ended up buying two. Caitlin and I just sat there and alternated between staring at Thea and gaping at the building around us. Caitlin came from a fairly well-off family, but nothing compared to the Queens._

_I can’t imagine any joy in life greater than sitting down in front of a mirror and buying any hat you choose without first having to consider the price! There’s no doubt about it, Daddy; if I had the means, Star City would surely undermine all the strict training from the John Grier Home._

_After we finished our shopping, we met Oliver at Table Salt. I suppose you’ve been to Table Salt? Picture Table Salt, then picture the dining room at the John Grier Home and you can imagine how I felt!_

_I ate my fish with the wrong fork but the waiter very kindly gave me another so that nobody noticed._

_And then after lunch we went to the theatre—it was dazzling, marvelous, mesmerizing, captivating!_

_Isn’t Shakespeare wonderful? Hamlet is so much better on the stage than when we analyze it in class. I appreciated it before, but now, dear me!_

_I think, if you don’t mind, I’d rather be an actress than a scientist. I’ll save you a private box for all my performances and smile at you from the stage. Only, wear a red rose on your coat please, so that I am sure to smile at the right man. It would be awfully embarrassing if I smiled at the wrong man._

_We came back Saturday night and had dinner on the train. I’d never heard of meals served on trains before and I inadvertently said so. Thea asked me “where on earth were you brought up?” and I said in a village hoping she would drop it there. But she continued asking me “but didn’t you ever travel?” I said no, not until I came to college. I travelled on a train to get here but we didn’t eat._

_Thea has been getting quite interested in me ever since the weekend in Star City. I think it’s because I say funny things—but only when I’m surprised. Except, I’m surprised all the time. It’s quite disconcerting (but not in a bad way) to spend eighteen years in the John Grier Home and then suddenly be plunged into the WORLD._

_But I’m getting acclimated. I don’t make such embarrassing mistakes anymore like I used to (I still cringe when I think of the Jane Austen incident) and I don’t feel uncomfortable with the other girls anymore._

_I used to squirm whenever people looked at me. I thought they saw right through me and could tell I didn’t belong. But I don’t feel that way anymore. I know now that I do belong._

_Oh! I forgot to tell you about our flowers. Oliver gave each of us a big bouquet of violets and lilies. Wasn’t that sweet of him? I never used to care much for men—I never liked any of the Trustees (except for you)—but I think I’m changing my mind._

_Yours always,_

_Felicity_

_P.S._ _I hope this long, detailed letter makes up for all my short ones._

* * *

 

Oliver waited for Thea in the foyer of their house. After they left the theatre, Felicity and Miss Snow went back to the hotel to pack their things and Oliver and Thea went to their house so Thea could do the same and then Oliver and Thea would pick the other two girls up at the hotel and he would take them all to the train station.

Finally, Thea came down the stairs followed by Diggle who carried her suitcase. Diggle went out the door to take Thea’s case to the car, but before Oliver and Thea could head out the door, she stopped him and studied him for a few moments.

Eventually, Oliver couldn’t stand her staring any longer. “What?” he asked.

“You fancy Felicity.” Thea stated, matter-of-factly. Say what you will about Thea Queen—she didn’t waste any time and she certainly didn’t bother with tact.

Oliver just chuckled and repeated his question.

“Don’t lie to me, Ollie! Did you really think we could spend an entire afternoon together and I wouldn’t notice? You could barely take your eyes off her all day. I should’ve known it from the moment you asked me to come on this trip, really.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Ollie, we live in Star City. While I do miss it when I’m away at school, I don’t miss it so much that I can’t wait until break from school to see it again.”

“I just heard about the performance of Hamlet and thought, since you were studying it in school—“ but Oliver was cut off by Thea’s scoff.

“Don’t be absurd! I’ve studied a great many things in school so far and you’ve never gone out of your way to enrich the experience before. This whole weekend trip was just an elaborate ruse to spend time with Felicity.”

Oliver really, _desperately_ tried to come up with something to say but he crumpled under the weight of his sister’s stare and couldn’t think of a single word. Eventually, he gave up with a sigh.

“Yes, you’re right, Speedy.”

Thea didn’t say anything for a few moments, but eventually her features softened and she said, “why didn’t you just tell me that?”

“I thought it would make you uncomfortable if I was interested in one of your school friends.” It wasn’t even really a lie. He actually did feel that way. But he couldn’t tell his sister about Felicity’s past and the real circumstances behind him coming into her life in the first place. It wasn’t his secret to tell anyway.

“Ollie, after everything you’ve been through, after Father, after Laurel, I just want you to be happy.”

“You mean that, Speedy?”

“I do.” Thea said before giving him a hug. She broke the hug after a few moments, then gave him a cheeky smile. “Besides, you could do worse.”

“Thea!” Oliver reprimanded her. But it fell on deaf ears as Thea had already escaped through the front door.

Oliver supposed, at least now that Thea knew about his feelings, he wouldn’t have to hide them anymore whenever he came to visit—not that he was doing a very good job of it anyway...apparently.

Still, admitting the truth to Thea felt...kind of good. And she didn’t get angry with him. He wondered if the case would be the same with Felicity.


	15. I Couldn’t Know Someone Less

Oliver sat in his desk chair reading Felicity’s recollection of the trip to Star City. He was overcome with joy at how she seemed to enjoy herself. On the actual day, he thought she was happy just based on the seemingly permanent smile she had on her face all day but it was nice to hear her thoughts about it in her letter.

There was one thing that bothered Oliver, though. When she was recalling their stop at the hat store she said she “couldn’t imagine any joy in life greater than sitting down in front of a mirror and buying any hat you choose without first having to consider the price”. Perhaps, he ought to send her some extra money so she can do just that. Oliver wanted Felicity to have all her heart’s desires and to want for nothing. She deserved nothing less after the upbringing she had. And it’s not like he couldn’t afford it. Because of his father’s shrewd and, often times, miserly business tactics, the Queen family was one of the wealthiest in the country—possibly even the world.

* * *

 

_April 10, 1910_

_Dear Mr. Rich Man,_

_Here’s your cheque for fifty dollars back. Thank you very much, but I do not feel that I can keep it. My allowance is sufficient to afford all the hats I need. I am sorry I wrote all that silly stuff about the millinery shop, it’s just that I had never seen anything like it before._

_However, I wasn’t begging! And I would rather not accept any more charity than I have to._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Felicity Smoak_

* * *

 

_April 11, 1910_

_Dear Daddy,_

_Will you please forgive me for the letter I wrote you yesterday? I was sorry as soon I sent it. I tried to get it back, but the beastly mail clerk wouldn’t give it back to me!_

_It’s the middle of the night now. I’ve been up for hours thinking about how awful I am. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry I was so impolite about your cheque. I know you meant it kindly, and I think you’re a dear old man to take such trouble for something as silly as a hat. I should have returned it more graciously._

_In any case, I had to return it. It’s different with me than with other girls. They have no trouble taking things from people. They have parents and siblings and aunts and uncles that are always giving them things, but I don’t have that. I like to pretend that you’re my family just to play with the idea, but I know you’re not. I’m alone—with my back to the wall, fighting the world. I don’t like to think about that, and I try to pretend it’s not true but it is. That’s why I can’t accept any more money than I have to. I can’t accept money that I haven’t earned. The only reason I’ve continued to accept you paying for my tuition and board is because I feel like, with how successful I’ve been in school, that I have earned that._

_I’d love pretty hats and things, but let me earn it. Please. I could never be happy with myself if I took things I didn’t deserve._

_You will forgive me for being so rude, won’t you? I have an awful habit of writing letters impulsively and then sending them before I’ve calmed down and been able to think things through rationally. So, if I sometimes seem thoughtless and ungrateful, I never mean it. In my heart, I thank you always for the life and freedom and independence that you’ve given me. My childhood was just a long, monotonous trudge, but now I’m so happy every moment of every day for the life I have, sometimes I can’t believe it’s actually real._

_It’s a quarter past two now. I’m going to very quietly leave my room to go and send this. You won’t receive it until after the other one, but you won’t have too long to wait so there won’t be much time for you to think bad of me._

_Goodnight Daddy_

_I love you always,_

_Felicity_

* * *

 

_May 4, 1910_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_I was up half the night last night reading Jane Eyre. Are you old enough to remember sixty years ago, Daddy? And if so, did people really talk that way?_

_The haughty Lady Blanche says to the footman “Stop your chattering, knave, and do my bidding.” Mr. Rochester talks about the metal welkin when he means the sky. And as for the mad woman who laughs like a hyena and sets fire to bed curtains and tears up wedding veils and bites—it’s melodrama in the purest. But I still can’t stop reading it. When I was reading about little Jane’s troubles in the charity school, I got so angry that I had to go out and take a walk. I understood exactly how she felt. Having known Mrs. Abbott, I could see Mr. Brocklehurst._

_But don’t be outraged, Daddy. I’m not insinuating that the John Grier Home was like the Lowood Institute. At the John Grier Home we had plenty to eat and plenty to wear, sufficient water to bathe in, and a furnace in the cellar to keep the place warm in the winter. But there is one thing the two have entirely in common. Our lives were absolutely monotonous and uneventful. Nothing nice ever happened except ice cream on Sunday, and even that was regular. In all eighteen years I was there, I only had one adventure—when the woodshed burned. We had to get up in the middle of the night and get ourselves ready in case the house also caught fire. But it didn’t catch and we went back to bed._

_Everybody likes a surprise every now and then; it’s a perfectly natural thing. But I never had any surprises—until Mrs. Abbott called me into the office one day and told me that Mr. John Smith was going to send me to college. But she took such a long time of it, breaking the news so gradually, that it barely shocked me._

_You know Daddy, I think the most necessary quality for any person to have is imagination. It allows people to put themselves into other people’s places. It makes them kind and sympathetic and understanding. Imagination should be cultivated in children. But the John Grier Home instantly stamped out any flicker of it that appeared. Duty was the one quality that was encouraged. I don’t think children should ever know the meaning of that word, it’s odious. Children ought to do everything from love._

_Wait until you see the orphanage that I’m going to have one day. I like to plan it out in my head every night while I’m waiting to fall asleep. I plan everything to the smallest detail—the meals, the clothes, the amusements, even the punishments._

_I think that everyone should have a happy childhood. And if I ever have any children of my own, I will make sure they don’t have a care in the world until they grow up._

_I know I haven’t talked about my classes for a while,  but I assure you, I’m still attending them. To be honest, I kind of like not talking about them. It’s nice to take a break every once in a while and talk about other things. Of course, our conversations are rather one-sided, but that’s entirely your fault. You are free to answer me anytime you like._

_Yours always,_

_Felicity_

* * *

 

_June 2, 1910_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_You’ll never guess the very nice thing that just happened._

_Caitlin and her family have invited me to spend the summer at their lake house! They belong to this sort of club where they and a few other families all have lake houses on this same lake so they all got together and decided to turn it into a sort of camp for their families and their children’s friends. They go canoeing on the lake and there are also lots of hiking trails, and there’s a dance once a week in the clubhouse—it’s meant to just be for the kids, but Caitlin says the adults often like to join in too. Ray Palmer is going to have one of his friends from college staying with him for part of the summer, so you see, we will have plenty of men to dance with!_

_Wasn’t it sweet for Caitlin’s mother to invite me? It seems she really took a liking to me when I came to visit for Christmas._

_Please excuse this for being so short. It’s not a real letter. It’s just to tell you of my plans for the summer so you won’t have to wonder._

_Yours,_

_Felicity_

Oliver stared at the page in front of him. She wasn’t going to Lock Willow for the summer. Why wouldn’t she want to go to Lock Willow?

The last time she spent the holidays with Miss Snow’s family, she barely had any time to herself. She only wrote him one letter.

A mind like hers needed space to think; to create. If she stayed at the camp for a whole summer she would be too distracted to do either. Not to mention, a young woman such as herself shouldn’t spend so much time in the company of young men. It wasn’t proper.

“Diggle!” Oliver called through his study door.

“Yes, Mr. Queen?”

“I want you to write to Miss Smoak and tell her that Mr. Smith prefers that she spend the summer at Lock Willow.”

Diggle wordlessly nodded his head before setting off on his task.

* * *

 

_June 5, 1910_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_Your secretary man has just written to me saying that Mr. Smith prefers that I should not accept Mrs. Palmer’s invitation, but should return to Lock Willow instead._

_Why, why, why, Daddy?_

_If it’s because you think I would be a burden to the family, let me assure you, Caitlin’s mother asked me herself. She (and the rest of the family) want me to come. Caitlin even said it was her mother’s idea and that she had nothing to do with it—although she, of course, wants me to come too. Caitlin even showed me the letter that her mother wrote to her where she told Caitlin about the idea. Ray Palmer also wrote to me saying that he heard about his step-mother’s invitation and he said that he would also be more than happy if I went._

_And, it’s not like they won’t be able to take care of me. They don’t have many servants, but I can look after myself—I did it for years at the John Grier Home. I can help with the cleaning and cooking. This would teach me housekeeping. Every woman ought to have housekeeping skills, don’t you think? And I only know orphanage-keeping._

_So you see? I won’t be a burden in the slightest._

_Besides, there aren’t any other girls our age at the camp. Mrs. Palmer wants me as a companion for Caitlin. If it makes a difference, we are planning to do all the reading for English and sociology over the summer. The professor recommended that we do all the reading before the new year starts and it’s easier to remember everything if we read it together and talk it over. (Just in case you’re worried we would spend all our time on amusement, we won’t.)_

_Just to live in the same house as Caitlin’s mother is an education in and of itself. She is the smartest woman I’ve ever met—she knows everything. Think of how many summers I spent with Mrs. Abbott and how much I’ll appreciate the difference._

_And if you think that I’ll be crowding them, don’t worry about that either. Caitlin tells me that when their house gets too full of people, they just make the boys sleep outside._

_And think of how good it will be for me to spend the whole summer excercising outdoors every day with people my own age. Ray said he will teach me horseback riding and how to paddle a canoe and so many more things!_

_It’s the kind of happy, carefree time I’ve never had. And I think every girl deserves a time like this at least once in her life._

_Have I not always been a good orphan to you? I know that I’ve not always been the most respectful, but I always apologized and tried to be better. If I promise to never disrespect you ever again, will you please let me go?_

_Yours always and forever,_

_Felicity_

No, no, _no_. Oliver couldn’t allow this. She would be much better off at Lock Willow where she’ll have solitude to keep her mind focused.

“Diggle, tell Miss Smoak that Mr. Smith absolutely insists that she spend the summer at Lock Willow.” Oliver commanded. Diggle didn’t say a word, but just stared at him. Oliver raised his eyebrows at Diggle, as if wordlessly asking ‘well, what are you waiting for?’ Eventually, Diggle nodded and left the room.

* * *

 

_June 8, 1910_

_Dear Miss Felicity Smoak,_

_Mr. Smith absolutely insists that you spend the summer at Lock Willow Farm._

_Signed,_

_John Diggle, secretary to Mr. Smith_

* * *

 

_June 9, 1910_

_Mr. John Smith,_

_In compliance with the instructions received through your secretary, I leave next Friday to spend the summer at Lock Willow Farm._

_I hope always to remain,_

_Miss Felicity Smoak_

* * *

 

_Lock Willow Farm_

_August 3, 1910_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_It’s been nearly two months since I wrote you last. I know it wasn’t very nice not to write, but you see, I haven’t cared much for you lately._

_You can’t imagine how disappointed I am to not spend the summer with Caitlin and her family. I know that you’re my guardian and therefore I must obey your wishes in all matters, but I just don’t know why you behave as you do. Your secretary sent me one single line on a card to denote where you had ordered me to and you don’t even try to imply there’s a reason. And I can’t even begin to guess. I thoroughly explained to you all the reasons why it would’ve been better for me to spend the summer with Caitlin and the Palmers and yet you still ordered me to Lock Willow._

_I know you weren’t trying to hurt me—at least, I don’t think you were trying to hurt me. I thought I knew you, Daddy. But now I know: I couldn’t know someone less._

_I imagined you being kind and tall and old. I never imagined that you were heartless and cold and cruel. I thought you cared about me. I couldn’t have been more wrong._

_I thought that you would’ve wanted me to take a break from all my hard work at school—to get to spend time with new people and learn new things and just have fun._

_Instead, I’m here on a farm in the country. I sleep in a plain wooden bed. Everything is very simple and routine—we wake up at five in the morning; we tend to the animals and crops. I’m very good at routine, Daddy, after all those years of routine at the John Grier Home. Although, tomorrow we may paint the barn a different shade of red. And on Saturday there’s an ice cream social at the schoolhouse._

_I must confess,_

_I WISH I WERE DEAD!_

_Caitlin sends me letters detailing all the fun things she’s doing and I’m here watching days slip away, adrift in my own discontent._

_You have shown me so much kindness and changed my life. But I must confess—why would you do all that; why would you set me free only to imprison me?_

_I truly couldn’t know someone less._

_Per your terms for this arrangement, I must write to you once a month. I promise to resume this routine and I will tell you all about the goings on here at Lock Willow._

_Yours as ever,_

_Felicity Smoak_


	16. The Man I’ll Never Be

Oliver frantically paced his study, unable to shake this feeling in his chest.

She hated him. She even said so. She didn’t use those exact words, but Oliver could read between the lines.

He had to fix this. But how?

He should just tell her. He should just sit down and write her a letter telling her the truth.

He was a fool thinking he could maintain this ruse. In fact, he was drowning in the waves of his deceit.

But what if she didn’t like him? What if she resented him for lying? What if she saw the man he really was and rejected him? What if she cursed his name and never spoke to him again? He’d only have himself to blame.

To her, Daddy Long Legs was a kind, grandfatherly figure. But Oliver was the farthest thing from that.

If he told her the truth at last, would he lose her? Could he really risk that?

Sure, they had met a few times, but in those settings she only saw the cordial, polite side of him. But if his behavior regarding her summer plans were any indication, he had an ugly side. He didn’t want her to see that part of him.

But he still had to make things right with her somehow.

“Diggle!” Oliver called out.

“Yes, Mr. Queen?” Diggle asked when he entered the room.

“I’m going to be taking a trip for a few weeks. I want you to contact all the necessary people to tell them I’ll be away. But don’t tell them where I’m going.”

“Yes, Mr. Queen.” Diggle nodded his head and turned to leave before turning back around. “Where _will_ you be going, sir?”

“Lock Willow Farm.” Oliver stated.

He couldn’t tell her yet and risk upsetting and losing her. But they could still be friends. It was mad and maybe even a little hypocritical, but right now he was happy pretending to be the man he’ll never be.


	17. The Secret of Happiness (Reprise)

_August 12, 1910_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_Last Tuesday, nine piglets escaped from their pen. So far, only eight have returned. We don’t want to point any fingers, but we suspect our neighbor, Mrs. Kent, is holding him hostage—why, I cannot say._

_Also, the church got a new preacher because the last one died. The new preacher is young and has a lot of new, radical ideas. (One of his new, radical ideas—among others—is that material pleasure is not a sin. The townspeople are in revolt.)_

_I bought a new hat yesterday for twenty five cents. It’s not as fancy as the ones you might find in the city, but I find it beautiful in its own way. It’s simple, just a white hat with pink trim and a pink silk bow._

_One last piece of news. You’ll never guess whose coming to Lock Willow. Raisa received a letter yesterday from Mr. Oliver Queen. Apparently, he was traveling nearby and decided to stop in on his farm for a while. Raisa is in a frenzy. The whole house is being cleaned from top to bottom. Every surface dusted, every piece of cloth in the house washed; Raisa has even ordered the two male farmhands—Wally and Jax (have I ever mentioned their names before? If not, the girl’s name is Iris; she and Wally are brother and sister)—anyway, Wally and Jax were ordered to re-paint the whole house. Raisa says that it’s been many years since Oliver last visited and she wants the farm to look its very best._

_That’s not to say that the farm is delapidated or anything—Raisa runs a very tight ship and always keeps everything in tip top shape, but Oliver is a very special guest (he owns the farm, in case you forgot), so she wants the place to look impeccable._

_All of this reminds me of the work that went into cleaning the John Grier Home for the first Wednesday of the month._

_I don’t know how long Oliver intends to stay. I suppose it depends on how restful he finds it here._

_But isn’t that just like a man, Daddy? He gives no hint as to whether he’ll arrive today or two weeks from now and he also doesn’t tell how long he’ll be staying. Until he sets foot on the doorstep we will be in a perpetual state of anxiety. And if he doesn’t hurry, the cleaning may have to be done all over again._

_Saturday_

_I forgot to hand this to the postman this morning, so I’ll add some more and make sure to send it tomorrow._

_No sign of Oliver yet. I hope he’ll come soon. I’m longing for someone to talk to. To tell you the truth, Raisa can get rather monotonous. Her world really only consists of this farm. She’s not very worldly, if you understand my meaning. I don’t mean to say that she’s a simpleton because she’s very wise, she’s just very simple. And that can get a bit dull after a while. I like to talk about philosophy and science and literature and Raisa just likes to discuss the best kind of hay to feed the animals._

_It reminds me of the John Grier Home. At the orphanage, you were kept so busy with your lessons and chores that you didn’t notice the lack of real conversation. The outside world just doesn’t exist there. But it never bothered me then because I didn’t know any other way of living. But now that I’ve spent two years at college, I miss having someone around that speaks my language._

_There’s no more news to report now so I’ll finish this and remember to send it this time._

_Yours always,_

_Felicity_

_P.S. There was a drought early in the season and now the lettuce has suffered the consequences._

* * *

 

Felicity’s letter arrived just as Oliver was leaving for Lock Willow so he decided to read it on the drive.

He couldn’t really tell if she was still as angry with him as she had been—it was always hard to tell these things through letters, but it seemed that she had at least calmed down. The language was mostly cordial, if not a bit maudlin.

Oliver wasn’t entirely sure what his plan was, if he even had one at all. In her letter, Felicity assessed that he hadn’t mentioned how long he would be staying—she concluded that it was just because he was a man (which made Oliver chuckle)—but the real reason was because he simply didn’t know how long he would stay. He packed for about a month, but he would stay until he was sure Felicity was happy.

* * *

 

Oliver arrived at Lock Willow on the fifteenth. He had forgotten how much he missed the farm and Raisa.

He eagerly hugged the woman who he considered to be like a second mother. “It’s good to see you, Raisa. I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Mister Oliver.” Raisa said as she returned his hug. “You’ve arrived just in time for supper. Miss Felicity is out in the garden, now, picking berries for dessert, but she should be along soon. Come, sit down. You must be tired from your long drive.” Raisa guided Oliver over to the parlor, where he went to sit down in the big armchair that had been there—and in the exact same spot—since his last visit when he was twelve while Raisa motioned for one of the farmhands to take his bags to his room.

“I see you’ve hired new people.” Oliver commented. “The last time I was here it was Joe and Mr. Jones and Amaya.”

“Yes. Amaya got married the year after your last visit so she and her husband moved away. And Joe and Mr. Jones both retired. But Iris and Wally are actually Joe’s children and I met Jax about two years ago when he was working at the local market. I told him that I could pay him more money so he took a job here. He’s actually very good at fixing things. The old plow that broke when you were ten? Jax made it good as new. They’re all good kids and very hard workers. And they’re young. They can do a lot of things that my old bones just won’t allow anymore.” Raisa told him with a soft smile.

“And I’m sure you also like having Miss Smoak around?”

“Oh yes!” Raisa declared with a wide grin. “She is such a sweet girl. Always willing to help and get her hands dirty. She is a bit too liberal sometimes, but she means well.”

“Well, I’m happy—“ but Oliver was unable to finish as he was cut off by the sound of the front door opening and shutting and a sweet, melodic voice floating through the house.

“Raisa, I got the blueberries, but I wasn’t able to get any strawberries. I hope you don’t mind—Oliver!” Felicity halted at the entrance to the parlor when she saw him. “You’re here!” She said while a smile spread across her face.

Oliver couldn’t help looking her over. Her shoes and the bottom hem of her dress were slightly dirty, her cheeks were flushed, she had smudges of sweat and dirt on her face, her spectacles were slightly askew and her hair was falling out of what was once probably a neat bun. She was the exact opposite of put together, but that didn’t seem to bother her in the slightest.

The women that Oliver was usually around always tried to make themselves look like porcelain dolls. They were always so prim and proper and Oliver hated it. It was one of the many reasons that drove him and Laurel apart; Laurel was obsessed with appearances. Oliver could just imagine what Laurel would be saying if she saw Felicity now.

_“She looks absolutely wild! Like a feral child!”_

Laurel was like Caroline Bingley in that respect. If a woman didn’t conform to her idea of beauty, she would rip into them the way a tiger rips into its prey.

There was just something about seeing Felicity like this; slightly dirty and sweaty and tanned from being outside—he thought she had never looked more beautiful.

“Hello, Miss Smoak.” Oliver greeted her with a small smile. He was met with an eye roll.

“If you’re going to insist that I call you Oliver, then I must insist you call me Felicity. ‘Miss Smoak’ just sounds too formal and I don’t like it. It makes me feel like an old maid.”

Oliver couldn’t hold back his smile. He had forgotten how bold she could be. “Very well, Felicity.”

“Why don’t I take the berries so I can get started on dessert. Miss Felicity, you can stay here and keep Mister Oliver company until supper is ready.” Raisa interrupted, grabbing the basket full of blueberries from Felicity’s hand and then disappearing into the kitchen.

Without an invitation, Felicity just sat herself down on the couch that sat next to the armchair Oliver was sitting in.

“So how was your drive up?” Felicity asked as soon as she was comfortable.

Oliver silently noticed that she didn’t even bother excusing herself to the bathroom to clean herself. No other woman that Oliver knew would ever be comfortable being seen in front of him in anything less than their absolute best. And yet here Felicity was, dirty and sweaty and dressed in raggedy old working clothes and without a care in the world.

“It was very well.” Oliver responded. “A bit tiring, but long journeys always are.”

“I know what you mean. I love traveling to new places but I hate the journey to get there. I sometimes wish there was a way to instantly travel from one place to the next.”

“Well, perhaps you should invent a way. You could create a machine to do just that.”

“Well, I suppose if the Wright brothers can create a flying machine and Ada Lovelace can find other uses for a computing machine than just mathematics, then anything is possible.”

They fell into easy conversation after that. They talked about how school was going for her and how his work was going for him. They talked about Thea. She told him that she had wanted to spend the summer with Caitlin but her guardian wished her to come to Lock Willow instead—that comment caused a pinch in Oliver’s chest. But then the conversation quickly moved on to more pleasant things.

Conversation with Felicity was always easy. Although they only had occasion to converse a couple of times; it was always pleasant. Oliver didn’t have to think when they talked. He did have to be careful about what he said though. To make sure he didn’t accidentally slip up and mention something that she had only told Daddy Long Legs. When it came to Oliver Queen, she had told him that her parents were dead but that an “old family friend” was looking after her and paying for her education. Oliver Queen didn’t know about the John Grier Home.

Before long, Raisa came in to announce that supper was ready so the three of them all gathered in the dining room to say grace and eat.

* * *

 

A _ugust 25, 1910_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_Well, Daddy, Oliver’s here. And we’re having such a nice time. At least I am—but I think he is too. He has been here for ten days and doesn’t show any signs of going. The way Raisa pampers that man is positively scandalous. If she indulged him so much when he was a child, I don’t know how he turned out so well._

_He and I eat all of our meals together. Sometimes on the porch or sometimes under the trees or, when it rains, in the parlor. He just picks out the spot he wants to eat and Iris trots after him with the table. (And, if it’s been a terrible nuisance and she’s had to carry the dishes very far, she usually finds a dollar on her pillow.)_

_He is a very amiable man. He is very nice to the farmers and hired workers. They were suspicious at first. They didn’t like him because of the way he dresses! It’s because he dresses like a very wealthy man. But how else would he dress? Personally, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with his clothes. I quite like the way he dresses. He wears pleated jackets and white linen shirts of the highest quality and tailored trousers._

_Every morning when he comes down in different clothes than the day before, Raisa makes him stand still so that she can turn around him in a circle and admire him. She then tells him to watch where he sits for fear that he will get dust or dirt on his clothes. He always just rolls his eyes and says to her: “You can’t boss me around anymore, Raisa. I’m all grown up.”_

_It’s funny to think of this great big, long-legged man (almost as long-legged as you, Daddy) sitting on Raisa’s lap and having his face washed._

_Oh we’re having so many adventures, Oliver and me! We’ve explored the country for miles and he taught me how to fish. He also taught me to shoot with a rifle and a revolver (I’m not very good at either nor did I particularly like it. Guns are very loud and quite terrifying. Not to mention, so violent! But Oliver’s quite good at both). And he taught me to ride horseback. My horse almost ran away with me, but Oliver caught him before anything really bad could happen._

_Wednesday_

_We climbed Sky Hill Monday afternoon—it’s a mountain near here. It’s not a very high mountain, but it’s high enough that you’re breathless when you reach the top. It took us the entire afternoon. By the time we got to the top it was almost supper time so we set up a little camp. We built a fire and then Oliver cooked supper. He’s a wonderful cook! You’d think someone of his means wouldn’t be very good because he’d have a personal cook to make all his meals—he does, but he says that he likes to cook for himself every once in a while; he said he learned to cook from Raisa. We ate our supper as the sun set and we talked. He’s read all the same books that I have (and more)._

_We walked back down by moonlight and talked some more and he gave me his jacket when I started shivering. We laughed and joked the whole time. It was such fun!_

_This morning we went for a long walk and got caught in a storm. Our clothes were completely drenched by the time we reached the house. You should have seen Raisa’s face when we came dripping into the kitchen. “Oh dear, Mister Oliver—Miss Felicity! What shall I do with you? Mister Oliver, you’re new coat is perfectly ruined!” she said. We couldn’t help ourselves and burst out laughing. You would’ve thought that we were ten years old and she our scornful mother. I was afraid she wouldn’t let us have cookies with our afternoon tea._

_Sunday_

_I’ve been writing this letter for quite some time now. Every time I mean to end it, however, I get distracted by something and then I just lose track of time. But I hope you don’t mind, Daddy!_

_It’s the middle of the night now and I’m supposed to be sleeping, but I had black coffee after dinner so no sleep for me!_

_This morning at breakfast Raisa said to Oliver:_

_“We have to leave here at a quarter past ten in order to get to church on time.”_

_Oliver replied:_

_“Very well, Raisa. You get the buggy ready and if I’m not dressed in time, just go on without me.”_

_To which Raisa said:_

_“We’ll wait.”_

_Which caused Oliver to reply:_

_“If you please. Only don’t keep everyone waiting too long on my account.”_

_Then, while Raisa was dressing, Oliver gave Iris five dollars to quietly pack a lunch—and not to say anything about it—and then he whispered to me to change into my walking clothes instead of my church clothes. And then we slipped out the back way and went fishing!_

_It discombobulated the whole household! Lock Willow is very routine. On Sunday’s we dine at two, but Oliver decided to order dinner at seven—he orders meals whenever he chooses as if the place is a restaurant. It prevented Iris and Jax from going driving but he said that was just as well because it wasn’t proper for a man and woman to go driving unchaperoned. And anyway, he wanted the horses so that he could take me driving. But when I asked who would be our chaperone, he said we didn’t need one. Isn’t that funny?_

_And poor Raisa thinks that anyone who goes fishing on Sundays goes afterwards swiftly off to Hell. (I think that Raisa just wanted to show Oliver off at church.)_

_Regardless, we did our fishing. We cooked them over a campfire for lunch. We got home at four, went driving at five, had dinner at seven and at ten, I went off to bed. And now, here I am, writing to you._

_I am starting to get sleepy, though._

_So I shall bid you goodnight and finally finish this letter._

_Affectionately,_

_Felicity_

_P.S. I woke up this morning (Monday) and re-read this letter before sending it off. It is entirely filled with Oliver; you will probably be so tired of hearing about him by the time you finish this letter. I suppose I could promise to never mention him in my letters again, but that’s a promise I would simply refuse to keep. I suppose you’ll just have to put up with it! (Or you could write me to stop.)_

* * *

 

_September 10, 1910_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_He is gone and we are missing him! I’m finding Raisa’s conversation to be like unseasoned food._

_College starts back up again in two weeks and I will be very happy to return._

_This was an awfully short letter—probably the shortest I have ever written to you—but there is just nothing to report. Everything has gone back to the way it was before: monotonous and routine._

_I imagine I won’t write to you again until I’ve returned to school for there will be nothing to write about._

_Goodbye for now._

_Yours ever,_

_Felicity_

* * *

 

When Felicity stayed at Lock Willow last year, she mentioned that she found the secret of happiness.

Oliver always imagined that the secret of happiness was being able to compromise. Laurel was never happy unless she was getting what she wanted, so he usually gave it to her to prevent an argument.

But Oliver was now discovering the secret of happiness lay in a pair of bright blue eyes hidden behind a pair of spectacles.

Oliver spent two and a half weeks at Lock Willow and he had never been happier in his entire life. And he was never happier than when Felicity was happy. He realized that her smile was the most beautiful sight in the world and her laughter the most wonderful sound and that nothing else mattered as long as she was happy.

He thought a lot about how he had hurt her back in June and how he never wanted to make her feel that way again.

It pained him, more than he could say, to keep this secret from her. But at this point, he just didn’t know how to tell her. She seemed much happier when he left Lock Willow than when he’d arrived. He didn’t want to take that away by telling her. Her happiness was much more precious than his.

She would be starting her junior year soon. And before he knew it, she would be a senior and graduating. And once she had graduated, their agreement ended and they had no more obligation to each other. After that, she would go on with her life and never have to be weighed down by his lies and deceit.

He only had to continue this ruse for two more years and then they would be gone from each other’s lives forever. That thought made Oliver’s heart clench painfully, but it was for the best that they parted ways once her education was finished.

He knew he was only delaying the inevitable, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop. Perhaps he really was a masochist.


	18. Junior Year Studies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was in such a rush to get this posted that I only proofread it once (I usually proofread two or three times) so I apologize if this chapter is riddled with errors. Don’t be afraid to point them out if you spot one though! (I’m weird in that I actually like it when people point out my spelling errors. But I figure, if they don’t I can’t correct them). Anyway, enjoy!

_September 26, 1910_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_Back at college and now an upperclassman. Our study is better than ever this year! Thea, with her unlimited allowance, arrived early and had it all furnished before Caitlin and I arrived._

_We have all new wallpaper and oriental rugs and mahogany chairs—and not painted mahogany like we had last year; real mahogany. It’s very beautiful—but I’m nervous all the time, terrified I might ruin it all in some way or get an ink spot in the wrong place._

_This isn’t much of a letter, but I’ve just been so busy unpacking boxes and trunks and getting my room set up and greeting a few dozen friends who keep trickling in and out—you’d think our house had a revolving door! While unpacking, I realized that I have two trunks full of clothes. Who would’ve ever guessed that Felicity Smoak would ever own two trunks full of clothes!_

_I promise to write more and tell you about my classes once they officially commence, but for now, I will say goodnight Daddy dear._

_Affectionately,_

_Felicity_

* * *

_September 27, 1910_

_Dear Felicity,_

_I meant to write you sooner, but the moment I arrived back home I got caught up in paperwork that I scarecely had time to eat or sleep, let alone write a letter._

_I just wanted to say that I had a very wonderful time at Lock Willow with you. And to thank you for putting up with me for more than two weeks. My sister says I can be terrible company sometimes._

_I also wish you luck for your junior year. I hope Thea hasn’t been giving you too much trouble since you started living together last year. I know her personality can be an acquired taste, but I promise she improves on closer acquaintance._

_I shall leave you now, I’m sure you’ll be very busy with your studies and I will understand if you don’t have time to write me back._

_Hoping you are well,_

_Oliver_

* * *

_September 30, 1910_

_Dear Oliver,_

_It delights me to hear that you enjoyed your stay at Lock Willow. I know it had been a long time since you were there last, I’m glad the place hasn’t lost it’s charm for you._

_Thea is too hard on you. I thoroughly enjoy your company. I was actually lamenting to my guardian before your arrival, that being at Lock Willow with no one else to talk to besides Raisa was getting a bit dull. Don’t be mistaken, I adore the woman and always will, but it was just nice having someone else there to talk to. Especially someone I can have a real, intellectual conversation with. I can’t help it, if my mind goes too long without stimulation, even the things I once enjoyed become trivial! Your visit was a breath of fresh air and I couldn’t have been more grateful for it!_

_I understand what you mean about Thea. I hated her when we first met freshman year. She was very snobbish and proud and looked down on everyone. I still think that she has her moments of haughtiness and she can occasionally be a bit of a nightmare roommate, but for the most part, she is, in fact, much improved since our first meeting._

_I hope this counts as a sufficient letter. Usually, I’m better and can write very long and detailed letters, but college keeps me so busy nowadays I feel like I rarely have a moment to myself to just sit down and breathe anymore! Although, I’ve heard that senior year is a breeze; I just have to get there first. Wish me luck that I might survive this year!_

_Your friend,_

_Felicity_

* * *

_November 8, 1910_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_It just occurred to me as I sat down to write this letter, that I forgot to write you a letter in October. I am sincerely sorry about that, Daddy! I got so swept up in the beginning of a new year and new classes that it entirely slipped my mind. I really hope you can forgive me? And if it makes a difference, it wasn’t just you I forgot to write too. I found three other letters dated in September that I never replied to. One from Ray Palmer, one from Oliver Queen, and one from my friend Alena. So, it was not a slight against you!_

_Now let me tell you about all the latest news:_

_I went shopping downtown today to buy a bottle of shoe polish and fabric and more soap—all very necessary things—but when I went to pay the fare, I realized that I had left my purse in the pocket of my other coat! By some stroke of luck, I managed to find just enough spare change to use the telephone booth pay phone to call Caitlin and have her bring me my money causing us to both be late for gymnasium!_

_In other news, Thea Queen has invited me to spend the Christmas holidays with her. How does that strike you, Mr. Smith? Fancy Felicity Smoak of the John Grier Home dining with the Queens. It may seem_ _strange because I’ve known Thea for three years now and have even struck up a friendship with Oliver, but I still feel I don’t belong amongst the likes of them. Despite all my nice clothes and education, I am still just an orphan with no money except the allowance you so generously give me and no real family._

_I don’t know exactly why Thea wants me—I think I mentioned that she seemed to be increasingly interested in me after Oliver took us on that weekend trip to Star City, but she has seemed to have gotten even more attached to me ever since the start of this year. I can’t imagine why other than maybe it has something to do with my friendship with her brother—but I don’t know why she would care about that._

_I must confess that I would prefer going to Caitlin’s but Thea asked me first so I suppose Christmas in Star City must be my destiny! Although, if you wrote to me and told me that you would prefer me to remain at college (or go anywhere else besides Star City), then I would, of course, bow to your wishes above all else._

_As for my classes, I’m taking economics this year. Then, once I finish that, I will be taking Charity and Reform. Then, Mr. Trustee, I will know how an orphanage really ought to be run._

_Don’t you think I would make an excellent voter, Daddy? I turned twenty this past July. It seems an awful waste not to let educated and intelligent people vote simply because of such a trivial matter as gender. I think I would be an excellent voter._

_Yours always,_

_Felicity_

* * *

_December 7, 1910_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_Thank you for permission to visit Thea—I assume your silence means consent._

_The Founders Dance happened last week—it’s a dance that happens every year to celebrate the founding of the school but only upperclassmen are allowed to attend. It’s also the only dance held all year where we’re allowed to invite outside guests—I invited Ray Palmer and Caitlin invited Ray’s roommate from Princeton (his name is Ronnie, he was the friend Ray invited to their camp last summer, and he’s a very nice young man). Thea invited a man named Alex who she knows from the city; apparently he works for her brother but comes from a very respectable family himself._

_Our guests came in time for us all to go to dinner before the dance. We met them at their hotel, which they said was so full that they were making people lay in rows across the billiard tables. Ray said that next time they come to our school for a social event, he’s going to bring a tent and pitch it on campus._

_The dance commenced at 7:30. There were signs all over the room with each letter of the alphabet and the men were meant to wait underneath the sign that was the first letter of their last name until they were claimed by a girl. Ray was meant to wait patiently underneath the P, but he kept roaming over to the Rs—that’s where Ronnie was as his last name is Raymond. By the end of the night, Ray was upset because he only got to dance three dances with me and he doesn’t like dancing with girls he doesn’t know._

_The next morning we all met for breakfast off-campus and then went with the boys to the train station. Promise you won’t tell anyone—Ray gave me a kiss on the cheek before getting on the train. I’ve never been kissed on the cheek before! Or kissed at all really. It made my heart feel all fluttery and I’m sure my face was as red as a fire engine!_

_Ray and Ronnie also invited Caitlin and I to their dance at Princeton next spring and we accepted._

_Thea, Caitlin, and I all had brand new dresses for the dance. Do you want to hear about them? Thea’s was cream satin with gold embroidery and she also wore purple orchids. It was stunning. It came all the way from Paris and cost a million dollars! Caitlin’s was pale blue with Persian embroidery. It went beautifully with her red hair. Mine was pale pink crepe with lace and satin. I also had red roses that Ray sent (Caitlin told him what color to get). And we all had satin slippers and silk stockings and chiffon scarves to match._

_I feel sad for all the men in the world and the colorless life they’re forced to live. Their clothes are always black, white, brown, and gray—you so rarely see them in anything else._

_Do you want me to tell you a secret that I’ve recently discovered about myself? And do you promise not to find me vain? Then here it is:_

_I’m pretty._

_I never thought so before because I was brought up to believe that vanity was a sinful thing. But I don’t agree. I think it’s okay to think yourself attractive and talented and intelligent etc—so long as you don’t go too far with it and think yourself the best at everything._

_I know that I’m not the most beautiful girl in the world (but, then again, how can you possibly measure that when every person looks so different), but I do think I’m pretty. And I’m not the most intelligent person on the planet, but I do think I’m very smart._

_You must think me silly. Oh the things we think about late at night!_

_Yours ever,_

_Felicity_

* * *

_December 20, 1910_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_I only have a moment for I have so much packing to do, but I just had to say thank you for your gift!_

_I love it so very much!_

_I think I have a strong suspicion now who was the Trustee that always sent a Christmas tree and the Sunday ice cream. Of course, if I’m wrong you could write me back and tell me so._

_Merry Christmas,_

_Felicity_

* * *

_January 11, 1911_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_I meant to write you while I was still in the city, but I just got so distracted._

_I had a very interesting time with the Queens. I must confess, I’m actually glad that I come from an orphanage. No matter the drawbacks, there was no pretense about it. I understand it now when people say they are weighed down by Things._

_The house itself actually gave me stress. First of all, it’s a castle, not a house. My heart was pounding the moment I first saw it—it looks like a fortress! And then you step inside and everything is just so...oh I’m at a loss for words! It was all carved and upholstered and ornate. They had several pieces of furniture that were custom-made. They even had an armchair that was sent as a gift by a European prince!_

_And Thea’s mother—she is a very interesting woman. Everything about her was so perfect. Her clothes were tailored and beautiful. Her hair was all done up and there was never a single strand out of place. Oh she was very cordial and polite, of course, but it was a cold sort of politeness. And her eyes—oh those piercing blue eyes that stare right into your soul! Oliver has the same eyes,  but his are warm and kind. Mrs. Queen’s eyes, on the other hand, they made me shiver every time she looked at me._

_I never told Thea or Oliver my true origins, but I think Mrs. Queen could tell. She may not know about my status as an orphan, but somehow, she could tell that I don’t belong amongst her circle._

_Mr. Queen passed away a few years ago, but the way Thea and Oliver described him, he was much the same as Mrs. Queen. It’s truly a wonder how Oliver turned out the way he is._

_And the worst part of it all, Daddy—the only things Mrs. Queen ever talks about are jewels and dressmakers and social engagements. And Thea was much the same. How can people go through life like that? Only caring about the shallow, material things. The whole time I was there, I found myself not saying a word unless spoken to because I just had nothing to say!_

_It was truly a shame that Oliver was away on business the whole time except for the actual holiday itself because his company would’ve been a great relief. And even the one day he was at home, he seemed very tense. He briefly mentioned once that he didn’t really get along with his family, but I had no idea how bad it really was! He was his usual warm and pleasant self when it was just me, him, and Thea, but whenever his mother came into the room he became very cold and not like himself at all. I never asked why because I was too worried about upsetting him._

_If I ever marry and have children, I would much rather they be Palmers than Queens!_

_Perhaps it isn’t polite for a guest to say things like this about a family that hosted them? But you won’t say anything, will you Daddy?_

_Although, Thea did tell me a little about why there was so much tension between Oliver and his mother. I got the sense there was a little more to the story, but I didn’t dare ask. She told me that Oliver is very “unbalanced”—that’s the word she used. He spends all his money on reforms and social causes instead of spending it on more sensible things like yachts and automobiles and other things._

_He does buy candy though! Before he left he gave Thea and I both a box of chocolates._

_But it’s not all bad, Daddy! We went shopping almost everyday and to the theatre almost every night. We dined out at a lot of very nice restaurants. And even when we didn’t dine out, the Queens have their own cook who made some of the most delicious meals I’ve ever eaten!_

_All in all, I am very happy to be back at school._

_But oh! Did you want to hear about the other presents I received? Caitlin sent me a beautiful bracelet and Ray sent me an old, broken calculator. I know that sounds like a terrible gift, but it makes more sense in context. I was writing to him a few months ago—we exchange letters regularly you see—and I was just telling him that I had an idea on how to improve calculators. So he told me, that if he could dig up a broken calculator somewhere, he would give it to me to see if my idea would really work. It’s one of the best gifts I’ve ever received!_

_I must confess something very personal to you: I think Ray might like me. I’m not sure what to do with this knowledge. Do I like him? I will have to think on it and get back to you._

_Yours ever,_

_Felicity_

* * *

_March 5, 1911_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_Once again, I missed a month. I am so sorry, Daddy! Just like in October, I’ve been so busy since returning to school that writing to you completely slipped my mind._

_I think I was going to at one point because I do remember writing to Oliver and then I was going to start my letter to you, but I got called away and I just never got back to it._

_You seemed to forgive me the last time—at least I assume so since you never reprimanded me and then you sent me a gift for Christmas—so I hope you’ll forgive me once again._

_You’ll be pleased to hear that I passed my mid-year examinations (which I forgot to mention in my January letter—sorry again)._

_I am taking biology—we dissected a frog last week; it was revolting. We are reading Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein in English Literature. I had heard about that book a few times when I was growing up but never read it. Did you know that Frankenstein was actually the doctor and not the monster? (Although, one could argue that Frankenstein was the real monster.)_

_I’ve also been taking physical education. Only freshmen are required, but I kept electing it even after that because, even though I’m not good at it, I actually still enjoy it. I’m even taking swimming lessons this spring! (Although, I won’t be able to wear my spectacles in the pool and I can’t really see without them—but I’m still excited about the prospect nonetheless.)_

_I believe, in my last letter, that I mentioned my suspicion of Ray’s affections for me. Perhaps it’s not appropriate for me to be talking to you about such personal things. Besides, I told Caitlin and Thea about this. Caitlin was very encouraging that I should find out for sure and should act on it if he does. Thea was not, however. She said that I should not be with Ray and that maybe I should turn my attention to someone else. What an odd statement, don’t you think? Who would she even be referring to?_

_I promise I will no longer discuss such private things with you. After all, why would you care in the slightest who I may or may not have affection for?_

_Yours,_

_Felicity_

* * *

_April 24, 1911_

_Dear Daddy,_

_Spring has come again! You should see how lovely the campus is. Wouldn’t you like to come see it for yourself sometime?_

_Oliver came to visit last Friday. But, he didn’t come at a very good time. When he arrived, Thea, Caitlin, and I were headed to Princeton to attend a baseball game and a dance. Originally, it was only supposed to be Caitlin and I, but when Thea found out she was very upset so she managed to convince another friend of Ray’s to invite her along too._

_If you’re wondering why I didn’t tell you about this ahead of time, it’s because I had a feeling that you would have your secretary write to me to refuse permission._

_Anyway, we felt bad that Oliver had travelled all this way and we wouldn’t actually get to see him, so we convinced him to stay the night so we could see him on Saturday. He did and we had tea at the College Inn and took a walk around campus and it was a lovely time._

_I will admit though, he seemed a bit worse for the wear. Like something was weighing him down. Although, he said he was “perfectly well” when I asked._

_It’s the late evening now and I meant to tell you so many things about the current happenings here, but I’m very tired now and I must sleep._

_I’m always using that as an excuse, aren’t I? But a girls college is a very busy place with lots of things going on and I’m always exhausted by the end of the day._

_Yours as ever,_

_Felicity_

* * *

_June 4, 1911_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_No May letter. I’m getting very bad at upholding my end of our arrangement aren’t I? Which makes me feel terribly guilty because you are so good at upholding yours! Every year before I arrive, my tuition and board are always already paid for in full, and I promptly receive my allowance on the first of every month. I want to be better. I will try next year._

_If it makes a difference, I’ve been studying so much I’ve hardly had time for anything else. Examinations start tomorrow._

_But vacation starts soon. Thea is going abroad—no surprise there, it’s what she does every summer. Caitlin is going to her family’s camp, of course. And where do you think I’m going? You have three guesses. Lock Willow? Wrong. Camp Palmer with Caitlin? I tried that last year and it did not go over well. I shall not be attempting that again. Can you really not guess it? You disappoint me, Daddy. I’ll just tell you, then. But I warn you in advance, I have made up my mind and nothing can change it._

_I am going to spend the summer tutoring a girl named Zari Tomaz in algebra and chemistry. I will also be tutoring her younger brother as well. The family is paying me fifty dollars a month. I met them through my friend Sara Lance. I will be spending the whole summer there and finish on the first of September. After that, I will spend the remaining three weeks at Lock Willow._

_How does that sound to you, Daddy? Aren’t I becoming very independent?_

_Some bad news though. Princeton’s graduation ceremony is happening during our examination period which means Caitlin and I won’t be able to attend and see Ray and Ronnie graduate!_

_Goodbye, Daddy! Have a nice summer and be ready to come back in the autumn ready to work. (That’s what you should be writing to me!) I have no idea what you do in the summer and how you amuse yourself._

_However you spend it, I hope you have a good time._

_Affectionately,_

_Felicity_

* * *

_June 10, 1911_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_I received a letter from Oliver a few days ago inviting me to come to Europe with him and Thea. He said that it was necessary for a girl my age to experience the world and other cultures._

_It was a very tempting offer and I almost said yes. Maybe I would have if he hadn’t been so severe about it. He told me I was a silly, foolish, irrational, stubborn child for turning down this opportunity. I was so upset by that, I still haven’t responded to his letter._

_I decided to go to the Tomaz’s early just to spite him. Was that cruel, Daddy? If it is, I don’t care. Oliver is not the boss of me and he can’t tell me what to do with my life._

_I start tutoring next week and I will write you about that next month._

_Yours ever,_

_Felicity_


	19. Humble Pie

_July 19, 1911_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_I’ve been at Cliff Top—the name of the Tomaz’s cottage—for almost six weeks now. Both of my pupils have been doing very well so far. I like Zari a lot. She has an affinity for programming and engineering just like me. Did I mention that she’ll be starting as a freshmen at my college in the fall? I told her what building I live in so if she ever has trouble with anything she can come and see me any time._

_Mrs. Tomaz wishes to keep them—them being Zari and her brother—outdoors as much as she can so we actually do our studying in the backyard (and the backyard just happens to be a cliff)._

_A letter came from Oliver in Paris. It was a very short letter. He has not yet forgiven me for not joining him and Thea in Europe. I didn’t answer him. What can I say? And besides, if he gets back in time, he may very well see me in Lock Willow before I go back to school._

_After I wrote the above, I was called away for supper. Now that I’ve returned, I must confess there is nothing more to report so I will end this letter._

_Yours ever,_

_Felicity_

* * *

 

_August 19, 1911_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_My bedroom window looks out over the cliffs. It’s one of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen. All I can see is just miles and miles of ocean._

_Nothing has changed since the last time I wrote. We begin the day with breakfast and then I teach chemistry all morning, we break for lunch, and then it’s algebra in the afternoon until supper. It’s not the most exciting time, but it’s what I chose and I don’t regret it. I am earning money for myself instead of just receiving it. What could be better?_

_Thea sends me letters from Europe. But not Oliver. He is giving me the silent treatment. You know, for a grown man he is acting very childish. Why does it bother him so much that I said no to joining his family in Europe? I was very polite when I turned him down, and as my friend, he should be happy for me that I found a paying job and that I’m supporting myself and not just relying on others to support me. I can’t begin to understand what’s come over him._

_I also received a letter from Caitlin. She wants me to join her at Camp Palmer for the remainder of the summer once I’ve finished my tutoring obligations. Must I ask your permission or have we moved past that? I know that you’re my guardian, but at a certain point, you have to let me stand on my own two feet and make decisions for myself. Besides, I’ve been working very hard all summer and all the year before that and I feel I deserve a break and to have some time for myself. I want to see Caitlin and spend time with Ray. And, quite frankly, I want Oliver to arrive at Lock Willow and find me not there._

_I know that may sound petty and childish, but I want to show him that he cannot control me. He doesn’t own me. Nobody owns me. I am a free person and I can live my life as I choose!_

_Yours,_

_Felicity_

* * *

 

_September 6, 1911_

_Dear Daddy,_

_Your letter didn’t come in time and I am here at Camp Palmer. If you wanted your instructions to be obeyed, then maybe your secretary should’ve been more prompt in sending them._

_If it makes you feel better, I also received a letter from Oliver a little before yours asking me to join him at Lock Willow and I ignored him too._

_Ray is calling for me now to take me canoeing. Goodbye, Daddy._

_Felicity_

* * *

 

Oliver sat in his bedroom at Lock Willow fuming over Felicity’s letter. She blatantly ignored him as Oliver and openly defied him as Daddy Long Legs. And she didn’t even seem remotely apologetic about either!

He was going to write her a letter to let her know of his anger when he remembered something from her letters this summer. She accused him of being childish and immature. She wanted to teach him that she was her own person and no one could control her. And she also said, that as her friend, he should be happy that she was supporting herself.

Oliver slumped down in his chair. She was right about everything. He was jealous and controlling and he was very close to losing her because of it. He couldn’t let that happen.

He needed to be better. And he would be. At least he would try. Felicity was too good for him, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t improve himself. For her.


	20. Senior Year Studies

_October 3, 1911_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_Back at college and a senior! It doesn’t seem possible, does it? It really feels like just yesterday I was still a poor orphan with no future._

_While Thea unpacked, she showed off all the new things she bought in Europe. It makes me wonder if Oliver spoils his sister so much because he genuinely likes to or if he’s just afraid of telling her no. Considering everything, I’m inclined to the former. Oliver Queen doesn’t have any trouble ordering people around and voicing his disapproval when they disobey._

_He’s just as spoiled as Thea, but in a different way. And he will never learn if no one ever stands up to him. He’s like a puppy in that way—he just needs some house training and a firm hand._

_Oh! Did I tell you that the school is hosting a science fair this year? They announced it on the first day. They’ve never done one before but apparently some anonymous donor contacted the school and said they wanted to sponsor a science fair. Whoever this anonymous donor is is rich too because they also gave one thousand dollars to be given as the grand prize to the winner. The fair itself is in May and all students are welcome to enter._

_I’m terribly excited for this year, Daddy! But I will confess, I’m a bit sad that this is my last year and also rather nervous about what will happen next. I remember Mrs. Abbott mentioning that you sponsored two other orphans before me—how did they do after they finished school?_

_Anyway, I must be going now. Lots to do! (The life of a college student is never dull—except during classes.)_

_Yours ever,_

_Felicity_

_P.S. I thought this went without saying, but just in case, I entered the science fair and have already begun to work on my project. Caitlin entered too. Details to come._

* * *

_November 17, 1911_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_I’ve been having a lot of trouble with the algorithm I’m creating for the science fair. I would explain in more detail, but it’s a lot of technical jargon you most likely won’t understand. I wanted to write to Ray to ask his advice—his skills are more in the area of mechanical engineering than computing but he still knows a fair amount about algorithms—but we’re not allowed to ask for help from anyone unless it’s absolutely necessary for our project._

_Caitlin announced that her project is going to be a machine that can control the weather. It’s a fascinating idea to be sure, but so far, she’s only figured out how to make it extremely cold. I told her to not give up._

_Thea elected not to participate in the science fair with us. She doesn’t really have the affinity for science that Caitlin and I have. But she does seem to have a talent for archery. Perhaps that runs in the family? I remember Oliver having the same talent as a child. Thea can hit her target with perfect accuracy and precision. I’ve never seen her miss a bullseye yet. Who knew that a girl like her—who seems to care for nothing but clothes and dances and boys—could be such an excellent combatant?_

_This has been a terribly short letter, but I can’t think of anything more to report. I find my classes to be surprisingly easy this year. At least so far._

_Affectionately,_

_Felicity_

* * *

_December 14, 1911_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_I had the funniest dream last night. I dreamed I went into a bookstore, but there was only one book and it was titled “The Life and Letters of Felicity Smoak.” I started reading it—there was nothing unfamiliar—but just as I was getting to the end, I woke up. It was very annoying! I almost found out who I’m going to marry and when I’m going to die!_

_Don’t you think it would be interesting if you really could read the story of your life? Would you read that book? If you could read about how the rest of your life would go right up until the moment you die, but you couldn’t change anything, would you still read it?_

_On the one hand, there’s something comforting about predictability. Surprises and changes can be scary. But on the other hand, if you knew how the rest of your life would go, it would become aggravatingly monotonous. You’d always know what was going to happen next!_

_I think I would elect not to read that book._

_Caitlin talked me into taking biology again. When I say I like science, I mean the science of technology, not real living things. But Caitlin told me something that has actually been very helpful: “Just think of living things as machines. Veins pump blood through the body to keep it alive, just like wires send electrical currents through a machine to keep it running.” It’s simplified, obviously, but it has helped me see biology in a whole new light._

_I’m also taking philosophy again. Do you believe in free will? I do—completely. I absolutely despise the idea of predestination and fatalism. If I had accepted my “fate” then I would’ve spent the rest of my life withering away at the John Grier Home. I never would’ve taken the opportunity you gave me to actually make something of my life. No, I don’t believe in fatalism at all. I think people just use that as an excuse to never do anything with their lives because they’re afraid to fail. So they just sit back and watch the world go by until they die. But failure is a part of life! Do you know how many times Thomas Edison failed before he invented the lightbulb? Think of all the incredible achievements we’ve made with electricity. None of that would’ve happened if Edison had just said “Well, I failed. Obviously electricity was not meant to be.”_

_This has been quite a philosophical letter! Perhaps we should stop now. Caitlin and Thea are calling me because we’re making fudge. Well, they’re making fudge, I’m just the moral support. (They found out very quickly our sophomore year that dangerous things tend to happen when I set foot in the kitchen.)_

_Affectionately yours,_

_Felicity_

* * *

_December 26, 1911_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_Spending Christmas with the Palmers in Central City and a few days ago, seventeen Christmas gifts arrived for me._

_Seventeen! Are you out of your senses, Daddy? And all I sent you was a necktie! Daddy, you must warn people before you spoil them in this way!_

_Thank you and I love you dearly, but seventeen gifts, Daddy. What am I to do with you?_

_Yours quite happily exasperated,_

_Felicity_

* * *

_January 9, 1912_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_There is a family here who is in an awfully desperate situation. A father, a mother, and six children. The father worked in a glass factory and then got consumption. Now, he’s been sent away to a hospital which drained their savings. And now the support of the family has fallen on the oldest daughter who is my age. The mother is entirely useless so the daughter kills herself trying to scrape together any amount of money she can, but she doesn’t think the family will make it through the winter—and neither do I. She and I both think one hundred dollars would be sufficient enough to survive the winter._

_You are the richest man I know. Don’t you think you could spare one hundred dollars? This girl deserves help a lot more than I ever did. I only ask because this girl is one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. She was thrown into this role of caretaker with no warning and no preparation. She has five younger siblings—the oldest of whom is seventeen and the youngest five. And like I said, the mother is useless. She doesn’t care about any of the children at all. They don’t need a lot. Just enough to make it through the winter._

_Anyway, perhaps I’m just in such an altruistic mood because I’ve been stuck in bed for the past two days with tonsillitis. I very much hate being sick. But at least I’m not starving and barely getting by._

_I’ll leave you now so I can rest._

_Yours as always,_

_FS_

* * *

_January 21, 1912_

_Dear Mr. Philanthropist,_

_Your cheque for my friend came yesterday. Thank you so much! I cut gymnasium and brought it straight to her right after lunch. And you should’ve seen her face! She looked so surprised and happy and relieved—I’d never seen a smile so wide before!_

_When she showed her family, the mother cried “Thank the good Lord!”. I told her it wasn’t the good Lord, it was my guardian. Then she said “But it was the good Lord that put the idea in his mind!” But it wasn’t at all, of course, it was me. I suppose that makes me the good Lord? Oh my! That sounded extremely vain, didn’t it? I didn’t intend it that way._

_Anyway, you are the most wonderful person I know! (Well, I don’t really know you, but you understand what I mean.) Thank you so, so much again!_

_Yours most gratefully,_

_Felicity Smoak_

* * *

_February 15, 1912_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_At church this week, the preacher told us that we mustn’t develop our intellects at the expense of our feminine natures. And yet, they never go to men’s colleges and tell them to take care that their education not get in the way of their manly natures._

_But anyway—onto happier things. It’s a beautiful day—frozen and icy but sunny and not a cloud in the sky. Caitlin and Thea and I along with our friends Lena and Sara (you don’t know them, but I think I’ve mentioned them both before?) are going for a very long walk up to the lake that’s just a few miles from campus. And we’re supposed to be back by seven, but I doubt it’ll be any earlier than eight. Oh well!_

_So I will say farewell._

_Yours,_

_Felicity Smoak_

_P.S. I feel like I used to write much longer letters, but it seems forever since the last time I wrote you more than a few paragraphs. I suppose that’s just a consequence of growing up and becoming more social. When I was a freshman, the only person I had was you and I was not involved in any extracurricular activities. And while I still love you dearly, I have so many friends now and so much going on, the time to write just escapes me. But really, you should be happy for me. When we met (figuratively speaking) I was still just a child barely able to crawl, but you taught me how to stand on my own and carry myself and now I can run!_

* * *

_March 5, 1912_

_Dear Mr. Trustee,_

_Tomorrow is the first Wednesday of the month. I mean no offense to you, but they will be so relieved when the clock strikes five in the afternoon and all you Trustees take your leave. I remember several times, getting pat on the head as they left. I hated it. But don’t worry, I know that you were never one of those Trustees. The head-patting ones were always fat._

_Give my love to the Home and tell Mrs. Abbott I say hello. I used to hate that place so much. I resented it because I thought it robbed me of the normal childhood that all the other girls at school had. But now I’m glad I grew up there. I think it gives me a unique perspective on life—one that I never would’ve gotten if I had grown up the “normal” way._

_I know most girls (especially Thea) are so used to having things that they think the world owes them everything. They take what they have for granted because they’ve just always had them. But I don’t. Even after all these years, I still stop every once in a while to appreciate the little things because I remember growing up with nothing at all. I know I haven’t mentioned it in a while, but I hope you understand that I’ve never stopped being grateful for everything you’ve given me. And I shall continue to be grateful for the rest of my life, thanking you every single day until my last breath._

_But I must say, please don’t think that I would ever leave my own children—if I should have any—on the steps of an orphanage just so they could be brought up the same as me. I may be able to see the good of that upbringing now, but it certainly wasn’t perfect by any means. And it’s still possible to teach your children good values and also bring them up in a loving family._

_Affectionately,_

_Felicity_

* * *

_April 4, 1912_

_Dear Daddy,_

_I’m here at Lock Willow with Caitlin. We have ten days for our Easter vacation and Caitlin and I decided that the best thing to do was to go somewhere quiet. We just couldn’t stand another day of dining with four hundred other girls where it’s so loud that you can’t hear the girl sitting right across from you unless she makes her hands into a megaphone and shouts at you. This is the truth._

_We are exploring the countryside a lot and working hard on our science fair inventions—it’s so much easier to work when you have peace and quiet and none of Thea’s incessant chattering about nothing consequential. I’ve finally cracked the code to my algorithm, and Caitlin thinks she finally figured out heat. (She may have secretly contacted Ronnie for help—he’s much more knowledgeable about heat—but don’t tell anyone!)_

_We climbed to the top of Sky Hill where Oliver and I—but mostly Oliver—once cooked supper and camped. It doesn’t seem possible that that was almost two years ago. I could still see the place where the smoke from our fire blackened one of the rocks. You know, I haven’t talked to or seen Oliver for a very long time. I don’t think he cares for me anymore. He hasn’t written me any letters since last summer and he hasn’t come to visit us at school all year. I’ve considered that maybe I should reach out to him, that if he won’t do it, I should break this silence between us. But then I remember, that I was never really angry with him until he began this argument so I shouldn’t be the one to apologize. And if he still wants us to be friends, he will have to make the first move._

_But, no matter what, I will always have you, right?_

_Affectionately,_

_Felicity_

* * *

_April 6, 1912_

_Dear Felicity,_

_My sister informs me that you and Miss Snow have gone to Lock Willow for Easter vacation. I hope you are having a splendid time._

_I must confess, I have so many things I want to say but I don’t know where to begin._

_My behavior last summer was abhorrent. You must know that I sincerely regret it. I should never have called you those things. I should’ve been happy for you that you found a way to support yourself._

_I want to make it up to you in any way I possibly can and I beg you to give me a chance._

_I’ve missed you so much these past months, my life feels dimmer without you._

_Answer soon._

_Your friend,_

_Oliver_

* * *

_April 8, 1912_

_Dear Oliver,_

_Your letter means a lot to me._

_The truth is, I’ve dearly missed you too. I wasn’t trying to hurt you by refusing your invitation, I just felt that it was important for me to take that job and earn something on my own._

_I want us to be friends again more than anything._

_Yours with love,_

_Felicity_

* * *

_May 17, 1912_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_Graduation is three weeks from Wednesday. I would like to invite you to come—and I will hate you forever if you don’t._

_Thea and Caitlin are inviting their whole families. But I don’t have any family to invite. The only person I have is you._

_Please come._

_Yours,_

_Felicity_

_P.S. I’m sure you heard about what happened to that ship last month—it was in all the papers. I’ve never been on a ship before, but now I never want to._


	21. Graduation Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So at the end of the last chapter, Felicity adds a post-script to her last letter where she asks DLL if he heard about the ship that sank the month before. Now, I’m a history nerd, so when I realized that letter was dated May 17th I thought to myself “why not add a little mention about the Titanic? It was a huge news story that everyone talked about so of course Felicity would mention it.”
> 
> Of course, what I didn’t consider was the confusion it would cause. I didn’t realize this until after the chapter was posted and I got about a dozen comments of all these people freaking out about the ship wreck comment. And that’s when I realized my mistake—I literally facepalmed myself when I realized that of course people thought I was talking about the Queen’s Gambit (and the fact that it’s the very end of the chapter makes it seem like a cliffhanger).
> 
> So I just wanna say: I’m really sorry about that. I was not thinking at all when I wrote that.

Felicity stood in the hall outside the auditorium with Caitlin and Thea and all the other 250 girls in her graduating class.

“Stop tugging at your stole, you’re going to make it crooked.” Caitlin lightly scolded her while simultaneously grabbing her hands and placing them at her side.

Once Felicity’s hands were at her side she replaced tugging at her stole with bouncing on the balls of her feet. “I can’t help it, I’m nervous. What if I mess up my speech? What if I throw up or pass out or trip when they call my name to come up?” Felicity babbled, choking slightly on the last word as she had not taken a breath during her ramble.

“You need to just take a deep breath and calm down!” Thea commanded. “None of that is going to happen. You’ll be fine.”

“Yeah.” Caitlin nodded her head in agreement. “You practiced your speech about a thousand times, you practiced getting on the stage and walking up to the podium. You’ll be fine.” Caitlin gently squeezed Felicity’s shoulder in encouragement.

Felicity took several deep breaths to calm herself. They were right. She had rehearsed this, her speech was great, she was going to be fine.

After a few moments, a receptionist came and told everyone to get in the line up. They had rehearsed this the day before so everyone knew where they were supposed to stand. The line was in alphabetical order by last name, which would’ve made Felicity happy because that meant that she would’ve been right next to Caitlin, except Felicity was the valedictorian which meant that she was at the very front and would be sitting on the stage with the Dean and professors instead of in the audience with all the other students.

Before Felicity knew it, she was up on the stage waiting for her name to be called. She would give her speech and then be handed her diploma by the Dean.

And she couldn’t help the tears that sprang to her eyes. It may sound vain, but Felicity was really proud of herself. She had started out as nothing, at the very bottom of the totem pole, and now she was graduating summa cum laude. And, starting in the fall, she and Caitlin would be going to work at the most prestigious scientific lab in the world—S.T.A.R. Labs. They couldn’t believe they had both been hired. Harrison Wells, the founder of the lab, was considered a laughing stock in the scientific community because he had no qualms about hiring women. Dr. Wells had allowed them both to have the summer off before they started work, to give them a bit of a break after four years of working hard on their educations. Until then, Felicity had decided to return to Lock Willow so as to allow herself some restful peace and quiet before beginning the chaos of being a full-fledged scientist.

Thea, of course, was going to return to her home in Star City and do...whatever young rich girls do after college. She hadn’t said anything about a job or a career, but Felicity supposed, when you were that rich you didn’t need to work.

After the ceremony finished and Felicity actually managed to get through her speech without embarrassing herself, she and the other graduates were told to gather for a mandatory class photograph before they were allowed to greet their guests. For the photograph, all the girls were arranged according to height, but since Felicity was the valedictorian and wore a special stole to separate her from the rest, she got to be in the middle and hold the “Class of 1912” sign.

When the picture was over, the girls finally got to remove their gowns (the caps they got to keep) and go out to the courtyard where the reception was being held and they could greet their guests.

Caitlin and Thea immediately headed to their families, but Felicity only meandered behind them. Although she didn’t know what Mr. Smith looked like, she was hoping that she would know him when she saw him. Or that he would come up to her. But she looked all around her and nothing.

“Felicity!” The sound of her name being called pulled her out of her thoughts. She looked to see that it was Oliver calling her.

“Oliver.” Felicity greeted him with a smile while walking over to him. When she got closer she also noticed Mrs. Queen standing next to Oliver and Felicity gave her a polite smile.

“These are for you.” Oliver said as he handed her a small bouquet of roses.

The smile on Felicity’s face grew wide. “They’re beautiful, thank you!”

Felicity decided to glance around one last time just to double check to see if Mr. Smith had shown up yet.

“Are you looking for someone, Felicity?” Oliver asked her quietly.

“Just my guardian. I thought he would come but he hasn’t.” Felicity replied before looking back at Oliver. “But you’re here.”

Oliver gave her a soft smile. “Yes. I am here. And I could not be more proud of you.”

“Thank you, Oliver.”

Just then, Caitlin joined them followed closely by Ronnie—who, Felicity noted, she was holding hands with—as well as Ray, Sydney, and her mother and step-father.

While Caitlin and the others mingled with the Queens, Ray came over to stand next to Felicity.

“Congratulations, Felicity. These are for you.” Ray said as he handed her a—rather large—bouquet of daisies.

“Wow. These are lovely, thank you, Ray.”

“So are you excited to start your job at S.T.A.R. Labs?” Ray asked.

“Yes, I’m very excited. But I don’t start work until September so I’m looking forward to a relaxing summer.”

“Well, you know, there will always be a job for you at Palmer Technologies whenever you want it.”

“That’s very kind of you, Ray, but—“ But Felicity was cut off by Ray’s waving hand.

“Say no more. S.T.A.R. Labs is an incredible, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I don’t blame you for not wanting to give it up.”

A few weeks ago, Ray had written to Felicity telling her that he had started a company soon after graduating and he wanted her to come work for him. She had turned it down mostly because she had already accepted the position at S.T.A.R. Labs, but also because she was afraid that working in such close proximity with him would confuse him. It turned out that she was correct in her assumption that he had romantic feelings for her and it’s true there was a brief period where she thought she felt the same way, but it didn’t take her long to realize that she didn’t. She certainly liked him as a friend, but knew that it would never be anything more. But she suspected that he still had these feelings for her and she worried that, if she accepted his offer, then he would think she was interested and would be leading him on.

And then there were times when Felicity thought that maybe she should accept Ray. After all, the man she really wanted she knew would reject her the moment he found out about her true origins. But Ray probably wouldn’t. And he was very sweet and kind to her.

But her heart just wouldn’t allow it. She would never be happy with Ray in the long-term and Felicity would rather be with no one at all then settle for second best.

Eventually, the whole party left the school to go to dinner. Originally, Thea was going to go to dinner with just her guests and Felicity and Caitlin would go to dinner with Caitlin’s family, but when it was revealed that both parties had, unknowingly, made reservations at the same restaurant, they decided to have a combined dinner for all three girls. The Queens managed to secure a private room that the restaurant had for large parties.

The whole party arrived at the restaurant around eight o’clock and the meal went off without a hitch. And because of the private room, they could mingle about with whoever they wanted so they weren’t stuck just talking to the people next to them—which was especially good for Felicity because she ended up sandwiched between the Palmer twins; Sydney hated her and Ray was only good company in short bursts before he became a little too overbearing for Felicity’s liking.

Dessert came with a lovely surprise when Ronnie knelt down next to Caitlin and asked for her hand in marriage. She accepted. And no one except for Ray had any idea that he was going to do that.

Felicity couldn’t have been happier for her best friend. Caitlin was always shy and reserved, but ever since she met Ronnie, Felicity saw her come out of her shell and Felicity loved it.

But as Felicity watched the proposal, her eyes couldn’t help but wander over to Oliver and she wondered what it would be like if he ever did that to her.

But Felicity knew he never would. He was a Queen and she was just an orphan, a nobody. She was certain that he would reject her if she ever told him who she really was.

And anyway, she wasn’t even sure Oliver felt the same way. And why would he? He was surrounded by beautiful, tall, sophisticated women in Star City. Thea told her once, about a girl that Oliver used to love. Her name was Laurel Lance—coincidently the older sister of Felicity’s friend, Sara. And Thea had also shown her a photograph of Laurel. She was so beautiful and poised and everything a properly brought up girl ought to be. Thea had said that things hadn’t ended well between Oliver and Laurel—although she didn’t specify as to why—and that Laurel was now married to Oliver’s best friend, but still, Felicity could never compete with Laurel or girls like Laurel.

As the evening wound down and people began leaving, Felicity was stopped with a gentle hand on her elbow as she headed in the direction of her house with Thea and Caitlin.

Felicity spun around to see that it was Oliver who had stopped her.

“I hear that you’ll be spending the summer at Lock Willow before moving to Central City to work at S.T.A.R. Labs.”

“That’s correct.” Felicity confirmed.

“Perhaps I’ll come visit for a week or two.”

A small smile spread across Felicity’s face (she made great effort to keep it small and casual to conceal the wide grin she wanted to show) “I’d like that.”

Oliver mirrored her smile with one of his own. “Good. Well, I will see you then.”

“Good.” Felicity turned to leave, but was called back by Oliver’s voice.

“And Felicity, I really am _so_ proud of you.”

Felicity gave him one last smile and nod before going back to her house on campus. She would be leaving first thing in the morning for Lock Willow, but tonight, she had a few things she needed to say to Mr. Hitching Post Clothes Pole Rich Man Girl Hater Smith.


	22. I Have Torn You From My Heart

_June 19, 1912_

_Mr. John Smith,_

_I began this letter after I arrived home from my graduation ceremony, but I was so angry I found myself unable to write without accidentally ripping the page due to pressing my pen too hard. So I decided to wait a few days until I had calmed down and was able to write with a more steady hand._

_I am in Lock Willow now and here I will remain until September when I am to begin my new job._

_After you didn’t attend my graduation, it became very clear to me that you don’t care for me at all. I am writing to you now to tell you that I have torn you from my heart, my life, and my soul. I will no longer hold onto any expectations that you will ever change your ways—it’s pointless anyway. I have washed my hands of you and any hope that you’ll be there when I most need a friend. Because you’ll never be there—at least on that, I can depend._

_You have hurt me for the last time and I won’t go on like this anymore. You will never hear another plea or regard or anything from me again._

_You’ve got your freedom now. But you don’t have me. I won’t be a burden to you any longer. In that regard, I, too, am free._

_Before I end this letter and you never hear from me again, I want to tell you that enclosed is a cheque for $1,000. It’s the prize money I got from winning the science fair. Consider it a first installment of my repayment to you. Once I begin my new job, I will continue to send you money until I have repayed my tuition in full. After that, all of my money will go to the John Grier Home which will make me a Trustee just like you. I look forward to seeing you at the monthly meetings._

_Goodbye, Mr. Smith. I wish you all the best in your life going forward._

_I remain,_

_Miss Felicity Smoak_


	23. Charity

Oliver sat in his study staring at the page he held in his hand. It was hot. Unusually hot for this time of year. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and the top few buttons of his shirt were undone. But what made it worse were the hot tears in his eyes that he desperately tried to hold back and the lump in his throat that he just couldn’t swallow no matter how many times he tried.

The words on the page mocked him.

_I have torn you from my heart, my life, and my soul. I will no longer hold onto any expectations that you will ever change your ways—it’s pointless anyway. I have washed my hands of you and any hope that you’ll be there when I most need a friend. Because you’ll never be there—at least on that, I can depend._

Oliver read the letter over and over and over again—at least twenty times now.

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he always feared this day would come. The day when she would finally break free and want nothing to do with him anymore. But even still, he couldn’t help the painful ache in his chest now that it had finally arrived.

He also looked at the money she sent him. For one thing, that was his money anyway. He was the one that had arranged the science fair. It was his way of trying to make her happy after their fight about her not going to Europe with him. She was sending him his own money back and she didn’t even know it. Not that it made it any better. He had offered that prize knowing that, even though he couldn’t guarantee she would win, he hoped that she would and she would put it towards one of her inventions. But instead, she was using it to repay him.

Which, second of all, she wasn’t supposed to do. When he laid out the terms of this arrangement to Mrs. Abbott all those years ago, he made it very clear that she was not to repay him any of the money that went to her education. The only repayment he would accept were the letters and the hope that his orphans would go on to lead successful lives. And yet here she was, insisting that she repay him in full. She always was so stubborn.

It made Oliver think...about charity.

_How easier it is to give than to let yourself receive..._

When he first joined the Board of Trustees of the John Grier Home, it was right after he had returned from his tour of the world. After everything he had seen, he felt compelled to give back as much as he could.

And when he heard about Felicity and heard how adept she was, he felt sorry for her. He felt sorry that such a brilliant mind was being squandered because she had the unfortunate circumstance of being an orphan.

But that’s when it all went wrong. Because she didn’t follow the rules—she gave him a nickname and wrote to him about much more than just her studies. She was clever and charming and imaginative...and it wasn’t supposed to be that way. And eventually, he just couldn’t resist it any longer so he met her in person. And things just got worse from there because she was beautiful. Her golden hair shined and her blue eyes sparkled like diamonds and her smile...her smile made him smile. And when they were together it was like they were the only two people in the world and nothing else mattered.

Then, her letters became more and more insightful. It made him realize just how undeserving he was. How much he had taken everything—his life—for granted. The way that she stood up to him which no one else had ever really done before made him realize just how flawed he really was. He was stubborn and controlling to a fault.

This whole thing started because he wanted to help her, but she ended up helping him so much more.

And it gave him pause because _once, I gave to those in need. Now, I’m in need of you._

What she had given him had come out of the blue. And, more than once over the years, he had asked himself: just who is helping who?

Reading her letter, he knew he had lost her forever as Daddy Long Legs. But maybe he still had a chance as Oliver.

For a long time, Oliver wasn’t certain if Felicity reciprocated his feelings or not, but then there was a moment during dinner after the graduation ceremony—when Ronnie proposed to Caitlin—and Oliver briefly caught Felicity looking at him out of the corner of his eye. And in that moment, he thought that perhaps she did reciprocate his feelings after all.

He knew he couldn’t have her as Daddy Long Legs, but he could still have her as Oliver...and if she accepted him, then he could finally tell her the truth and hope she loved him enough to forgive him.


	24. Looking For a Friend

_July 19, 1912_

_Dear Mr. Smith,_

_I know I said I would never write to you again but something has happened and I desperately need your advice. I can’t ask Caitlin because she wouldn’t understand and she doesn’t know about the John Grier Home._

_Please understand that this matter is very private so don’t tell your secretary anything about it._

_Yours,_

_Felicity Smoak_

_P.S. I’m very unhappy._

* * *

 

_August 3, 1912_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_You have no idea how happy it made me to receive your note. Before I begin, I want to say that I’m sorry you’ve been ill, but I’m glad to hear that you’re feeling better._

_Anyway, I won’t delay any further._

_I suppose you’ve noticed that many of my letters have been filled with Oliver Queen._

_Oh how can I explain it? Whenever we’re together, I feel like we’re the only two people in the world. He never minds when I’m a bit dirty and messy from working or when I babble or talk about technology (even though he really doesn’t understand much about it—which I actually find very endearing). He never talks to me like I’m just a stupid girl (except for that one incident regarding the Europe business but I’ve entirely forgiven him of that—after he apologized several times of course). He always listens to what I have to say and he’s always so encouraging and supportive when I feel like giving up my dream._

_I feel like I’m not doing him much justice with this description, but it’s just so hard to put all my feelings into words._

_I just really, really love him. I have for a very long time. I can’t say exactly when I realized it but I think it was when he came to visit me here in Lock Willow the summer before my junior year. I was just feeling so lonely and trapped that summer and then he came and I couldn’t stop myself from smiling every moment I was with him._

_Anyway, he came to visit again just a few weeks ago and he proposed._

_And I said no._

_I didn’t explain why—I couldn’t. How could I tell him about the John Grier Home? I know that he and his family would not care for me anymore if they knew._

_Anyway, after I refused him he promptly left Lock Willow the very same day with no warning—Raisa sobbed for hours._

_And then he sent this note that just said:_

_Dear Felicity,_

_I’m sorry if I offended you by expressing my true feelings. I can see that you don’t reciprocate them._

_It is clear to me that you won’t marry me because you would rather marry Ray Palmer._

_I wish you all the happiness in the world._

_Yours,_

_Oliver_

_Oh, Daddy! I’ve never been more distressed in my entire life. I’ve been crying every day since he left._

_Do you think I should go to him and explain that the trouble isn’t Ray at all but the John Grier Home? I’ve thought about that a lot, but I can’t help but think: what if I do and he rejects me? I don’t know how I would survive that blow. Of course, I would still have my work and that does make me very happy, but there would always be a part of me that was empty._

_What should I do? I am utterly and completely deperate and am entirely at your mercy._

_Yours,_

_Felicity_

* * *

 

_August 6, 1912_

_Dear Daddy Long Legs,_

_Yes of course I will come to meet you! I have been to Star City a few times before so I’m sure I can find my way._

_I can’t believe that I’ll actually get to see you in person. I hope I like you. I hope you like me._

_See you soon._

_Yours,_

_Felicity_


	25. I’m a Beast (Reprise)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this fic was originally supposed to be 20 chapters...and then 20 became 25...and anyway, now it’s 27.

Felicity tentatively walked through the house. She tried to distract herself by admiring the surroundings, but was too nervous.

She had been let in by the butler—or at least, a man she presumed to be the butler—moments ago who told her to just walk towards the back of the house.

Felicity heard the door quietly shut behind her and when she looked back, there was no one in sight. The butler had gone.

After several moments of walking, Felicity finally reached the very back and took several deep breaths and slowly pushed the slightly ajar door open all the way.

“Hello?” Felicity called out as she opened the door. Finally, when the door was completely open, she spotted a man standing with his back to her across the room.

It was him.

“Mr. Smith!” Felicity exclaimed. She was too overwhelmed to really take in any details of his appearance, but one thing she did note was that he didn’t look anything like she imagined. But then again, she could only see the back of him.

But then, he turned around—and it was...Oliver.

“What are you doing here?” Felicity asked him. Oh this didn’t make any sense. Oliver planned this somehow. He must’ve figured out the truth and pretended to be Daddy Long Legs to lure her here. But why? “Do you know Mr. Smith...or whatever he’s called?”

“I do.” Oliver replied.

Felicity’s stomach dropped at his words and she looked down, playing with her hands. “So you know about me then? You know about the John Grier Home?”

“I do.” Oliver repeated.

“How long have you known?” Felicity asked. It was the only question that would form in that moment as her mind raced trying to process everything. But before she gave Oliver the chance to reply, she spoke again as a thought occurred to her. “Wait, don’t tell me. You can’t be. You’re his secretary!”

Oliver just let out a humorless breathy chuckle. “No.”

Felicity was starting to get frustrated now. “Well then where is he?” She asked as she turned around looking. She knew it was silly, but she didn’t know what else to do.

Without missing a beat, Oliver replied “He’s right here, I’m afraid.”

Felicity paused and turned around to look at him. “You? You. Y—you read my letters.” Felicity stammered. “All my letters? Even the ones about...you?” Felicity’s mind was racing once again as she tried to make sense of everything.

Oliver just nodded in answer.

“They were private letters!” Felicity exclaimed in a half-shout.

“I know.” Oliver said solemnly, not entirely meeting her eyes.

“They were letters to him, not you!”

“I know.”

“He would never have done such a thing!” Tears sprang to Felicity’s eyes and she collapsed in the desk chair near the door that she hadn’t noticed before.

Felicity looked down at her lap, wiping away her tears. “You’re not even old!”

“Guilty.” Oliver said. “Guilty as charged. I’m a beast. I’m a disappointment and I’ve earned your contempt.” Oliver began to move closer to where she was sitting now, but he still kept his distance. “I was rash. I was wrong. But, Felicity, I’m no good at being strong.”

“How strong did you have to be to pick up a fountain pen?” Felicity exclaimed through her tears.

“There were so many times I wanted to tell you, but I lost my nerve.” Oliver continued. “Now I feel your scorn and frustration. It’s a bitter blow and I completely deserve it. I’m a beast. I was overzealous. And I guess I have a jealous heart.”

“How could you possibly imagine I would ever marry Ray Palmer?”

“I was stupid. And blind. But Felicity, I swear I never meant to be unkind.”

The tears slowed and eventually stopped altogether as Felicity took in what he was saying. But before she could say anything, Oliver spoke again.

“And anyway, it was all your fault.”

“My fault?” Felicity finally looked at him with shock.

“I never intended to pay the least bit of attention to you. I said so in the perfectly sensible terms I laid out to Mrs. Abbott. But then you started sending me all these ludicrously expressive letters and my curiosity got the better of me. I had to see who this wonderful, amazing girl was and I couldn’t very well dress up as a bald old coot of eighty three so I went as myself...such as I am.”

Felicity just couldn’t help herself and she had to fight back the small smile that was threatening to spread across her face. “Go on.” She softly commanded him.

Oliver began to move closer to her once again as he spoke. “I never would’ve done such a silly, foolish, irrational, idiotic, stubborn, childish thing if I had any idea...if I had any idea at all that I would fall completely, madly, and hopelessly in love with you.”

Felicity’s breath hitched and her pulse quickened at his words. Of course, she already knew that he loved her—his proposal made that very clear—but hearing him say it now, after the truth was out...

So many thoughts flew through Felicity’s mind and she sat quietly for several moments as she worked everything out one step at a time.

One. Oliver was Mr. Smith. Two. Oliver knew about the John Grier Home and that she was an orphan. Three. Oliver knew all of this about her and still loved her anyway.

Yes, he had lied. For years, in fact. But he did it because he was scared that she would reject him. Felicity could understand that. After all, that was exactly why she refused his proposal and also why she lied to him all these years about where she really came from.

Did he not deserve a second chance? She knew that she would want him to give her a second chance—and she did.

Felicity nodded to herself. She had let him go once before and she wouldn’t make that mistake again. Yes he could be stubborn and even a little controlling at times, but she was stubborn too. And in this case, Felicity felt like the pros far outweighed the cons.

Also, Felicity couldn’t believe that she hadn’t figured out that Oliver was Daddy Long Legs before. Looking back, it all seemed so obvious.

Felicity finally stood up from the chair and took a deep breath to steady and calm herself.


	26. All This Time

“All the clues were there right before my eyes. Why am I so surprised? All this time, Daddy has been you. How was I so blind that I could never see that you were always here with me?” Felicity came a few steps closer to Oliver but left enough space between them that they were still a few feet apart. “You lied and betrayed my trust and made me appear so foolish. And I can’t believe I’m the last to know.” Oliver looked slightly hurt by her words but didn’t say anything. Felicity sighed before continuing. “But I let you go once before and I’d be a fool to do it again.”

Oliver looked up at her with a small smile playing on his lips and hope in his eyes. Felicity continued taking a few more steps closer to him. “Life is short. And a love like ours doesn’t come around very often.”

Felicity was cut off by Oliver getting down on his knee. “Life _is_ short. But mine would be even shorter without you in it. Felicity, I’m a better human being just because I’ve loved you.”

Felicity’s heart soared at his words and she knelt down in front of him and took his hands in hers. “With all my heart, I am most sincerely yours. And I promise to always keep you strong.”

“You forgive me?”

“And...I guess I can forgive my Daddy Long Legs for not being old.”

“Or gray.”

“Or bald. And for hiding from me for so long.” Felicity caressed his cheek and jaw with her hand, liking the slightly scratchy feeling of his stubble. And she finally did what she had been wanting to do for a very long time and pressed her lips to his. “I love you.” She whispered when she pulled away but kept her forehead pressed to his.

“I love you too.” Oliver replied softly before giving her another kiss.

Oliver and Felicity quickly—and quite unfortunately—got sucked out of their little bubble when they heard footsteps in the front of the house. Oliver stood up, then helped Felicity stand as well before lacing their fingers together and leading her out to the front.

“Diggle, I thought you had gone.” Oliver addressed the large man—the same man that had let Felicity in when she arrived. _So_ _that_ _was_ _John_ _Diggle._

“I had. And I hope I’m not interrupting you, but your sister asked to see you at the main house.”

Oliver sighed and nodded. “Tell her I’ll be there soon.”

After that, Diggle promptly left the house and Oliver turned towards Felicity.

“Main house? Where are we anyway?” Felicity asked.

“The Queen Mansion’s guest house. The instructions I gave you were to come in the back way so you wouldn’t see the main house. The guest house is a few miles from the main house, but still on the property.”

Felicity’s jaw dropped slightly at that. “A few miles?”

“We have a very large property.” Oliver replied a little sheepishly. “Anyway, Thea calls and you know how she doesn’t like to be kept waiting. You can stay here if you wish or wait for me in the main house.”

“I think I’d rather stay here. Your house makes me nervous.” Felicity admitted.

Oliver let out a small chuckle before giving her a kiss on the cheek and lightly squeezing her hand. “I’ll be right back. Promise.”

Oliver disappeared through the front leaving Felicity alone in the guest house.

It wasn’t long before Felicity realized that he hadn’t technically proposed—they would definitely need to talk about that when he returned. They would also need to talk about her work situation. Her job was in Central City, but if they married then she would live in Star City.

Felicity shook her head to clear her thoughts. That was a conversation for a later time. Right now she was just reeling in all the recent revelations. She knew it wouldn’t be easy—she had said the words that she forgave him, but putting them into practice was a different story. But she knew their love was strong enough to survive anything.


	27. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are...the end of the line. I’m sure you’re anxious to just read this chapter already, but thank you for taking a moment to read this note first.
> 
> First: oh man! I cannot believe the response to this story—it’s been completely overwhelming. I seriously can’t thank you all enough for reading this and leaving kudos and comments (especially the comments). I am so happy that so many people really enjoyed this story. I can’t take all the credit for it though; this fic is based off of and inspired by Jean Webster’s novel and Paul Gordon’s musical. (I feel like I’m giving an acceptance speech.)
> 
> Anyway, thank you like a billion times for reading this. Special thanks to everyone who left comments (I tried to reply to as many as I could, but there were just so many so if I didn’t respond to yours, please don’t take it personally).
> 
> Okay I’m gonna shut up now and let you read. Please enjoy this last chapter of Daddy Long Legs (and yes, this will absolutely be the last one—I know I’ve already extended the chapter limit like three times.)

“Felicity, honey! Are you ready to go?”

“Yes, I’m coming!”

Felicity made her way down the stairs to see Oliver in the foyer of their house waiting for her. It had been a year since they married and another year before that when she had found out the truth of his identity.

“Diggle is bringing the car around now. So are you excited for your first Trustee meeting? As a Trustee I mean.” Oliver asked her with a cheeky smile.

Felicity just rolled her eyes and laughed. “If these meetings are as boring as you’ve said they are—“

“They’re worse actually. You just sit there while Mrs. Abbott drones on an on about the latest updates on what’s happened since the last month’s meeting. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve almost fallen asleep. But, at least this time there will be something to do. I have to pick a new orphan to sponsor.”

“Really? But it’s been two years since I graduated. Did you not start sponsoring one last year?”

“No.” Oliver replied with a shake of his head.

“Why not?”

“Because I had my hands full with the last orphan I sponsored.” Oliver gave her a small smile and a wink and Felicity just gave him a glare in return.

“You only have yourself to blame for that mess.” Felicity said before opening the front door and walking through it.

Diggle pulled up the car a few moments later. He helped Felicity into the backseat while Oliver climbed in next to her.

“You know, I thought I had gotten used to automobile rides, but I’m feeling slightly queasy now.” Felicity commented to Oliver when Diggle started the drive.

“Do you need to stop?” Oliver asked with concern in his voice.

“No, no.” Felicity waved him off. “I’ll be fine. It’s already starting to pass.”

* * *

 

They arrived at the John Grier Home about twenty minutes later and Oliver was right; the Trustee meetings were even more boring than Oliver described.

Felicity couldn’t help but remember all the preparation that went into those meetings and how much she hated if from the orphans’ perspective. She couldn’t decide whether it was better or worse as a Trustee.

Oliver did end up electing to sponsor another orphan—a young girl named Evelyn Sharp. Felicity declined to sponsor this time, deciding to just focus on her own work for now.

Felicity’s job at S.T.A.R. Labs had been even better than she imagined. It was very overwhelming at first, but she was so thankful to have Caitlin there with her. And Ronnie had already been working at the lab for several months before they got there so that made it much easier for them to learn the ropes—although Felicity couldn’t even count how many times she got lost in the massive building at the beginning.

Felicity had felt so bad that she had gotten engaged to a man before she even officially started working there—that’s what caused them to delay the wedding for so long; Felicity didn’t want to quit the job of a lifetime before she had even begun.

Having a long distance engagement was difficult to say the least, but Oliver came to visit when he could—it reminded Felicity a bit of when she was in college.

Eventually, Dr. Wells took pity on her and informed her that he was opening a branch of the lab in Star City and offered her a position there.

When she took the job and officially moved to Star City, she was very sad to say goodbye to Caitlin and Ronnie but promised they would visit each other often—and, of course, Caitlin would be serving as Felicity’s matron of honor just as Felicity had been Caitlin’s maid of honor. But Felicity was happy to be closer to Oliver.

It was six months after taking the job at S.T.A.R. Labs in Central City that she transferred to the Star City branch. The Star City branch was much smaller, but in a way, that made it better. There were only about a dozen employees so everyone got to know everyone. Eventually, Felicity made new friends and everything was perfectly well.

Felicity and Oliver still waited a few months after she started her new job to marry because Felicity didn’t want to take time off from a brand new job to go on a honeymoon. The lab in Star City was actually brand new—had only just completed construction shortly before Felicity began working—and all the employees started at the same time, so they all needed a few months to get into a routine and start on their first big project.

But eventually, after what felt like a lifetime, Oliver and Felicity did marry one year almost to the day after they initially got engaged. Caitlin was Felicity’s matron of honor and Thea was a bridesmaid. And with no parents to give her away, they decided to break tradition altogether and just have Felicity walk down the aisle by herself—Moira Queen was not pleased about that at all.

And now here they were, quickly approaching their one year anniversary, and Felicity had finally gotten her affairs in order enough to become an official Trustee of the John Grier Home.

After Felicity found out the truth about her Daddy Long Legs, Oliver adamantly refused to take any more of her money to pay him back—he even returned the money she had already payed him—and then, after that, it just became about finding enough time to actually attend a Trustee meeting; the lab kept her extremely busy.

Well, Felicity found enough time to attend now, and she was bitterly regretting it. She had to keep pinching herself to stay awake. Although, on the bright side, Mrs. Abbott had never acted so pleasant towards her in her entire life. If Felicity had known that giving Mrs. Abbott money was the secret to bringing out her sunny demeanor, she would’ve started bribing Mrs. Abbott years ago.

On the drive back to the Queen Mansion, Felicity was hit with another bout of queasiness that was highly unpleasant and gave her a headache for the rest of the evening. (She really thought she had overcome this; it had been a while since riding in an automobile made her feel sick).

Because of her unwell stomach, she hardly ate any supper and retired to bed early. She really hoped this wasn’t anything serious because her and Oliver’s anniversary was the following week and, if she knew Oliver, he probably had something really special planned.

* * *

 

The week passed—it was the day before their anniversary now—and Felicity wasn’t feeling any better at all, so she decided to go to the doctor.

She hated the doctor. Felicity didn’t like needles at all and every time she went they were always poking and prodding her and trying to take her blood—she had to remind herself to just keep breathing and hoped it would be over quickly.

It wasn’t. Since Felicity had never been to the doctor for a routine checkup since she was living in the John Grier Home, it actually took a very long time because the doctor asked her about a hundred questions or so and made her go through so many different tests—it all made her head spin.

Finally, she was allowed to go home, but then the doctor phoned the following morning and told her she had to come back in to be read the results of all her tests. And then, after hearing the results, she was too shocked at the news she received to move, so she ended up sitting at the doctor’s office for almost another full hour thinking and re-thinking about what this meant over and over again.

Eventually, she realized she really had to go home because Oliver was waiting for her. Diggle, always the professional, was kind enough not to ask her any questions about the visit or why she was there so long during the drive back to the house.

* * *

 

 

Everything that Oliver had planned for the evening was perfect. He had covered the gazebo on the grounds of the mansion in flowers and candles and he cooked the meal himself. And the weather was perfect too—which they were both thankful for because it had rained every single day the previous two weeks.

They talked and laughed and it couldn’t have been more wonderful.

After supper, they laid out on a blanket looking up at the stars. The whole evening had been so distracting that Felicity completely forgot about her news. It wasn’t until she felt another bout of queasiness come on that she remembered. She shot up from the blanket and ran off to the nearest bathroom, and when she returned Oliver was greatly concerned.

“What happened?” Oliver asked her with panic clear in his voice when she returned.

“I’m so sorry. I just felt a little sick. There’s no need to worry.” Felicity tried to reassure him.

“No need to worry? Felicity you’ve been ill for over a week. I thought you went to the doctor yesterday, what happened?”

“I was actually just about to tell you that. I got so distracted by this perfect evening that it completely slipped my mind.”

“Then tell me now.”

“Oliver, there is no need to worry because I’m not ill. Well, not in the traditional sense anyway. Obviously, I’m ill because I’ve been getting sick—“ Felicity began to babble—a habit she had never quite been able to break—but she was cut off by Oliver’s soft voice.

“Felicity.” He said while gently squeezing her shoulders.

“I’m pregnant.” Felicity blurted out.

Oliver went completely silent and stepped back from her a bit, obviously processing her words.

“You’re what?” Oliver finally said after a few moments.

“This morning when I went to the doctor to be read the results from my tests yesterday; that’s what he told me, that I’m with child.”

Before Felicity could say anymore, a wide grin spread across Oliver’s face. “Really?” Oliver questioned again.

Felicity couldn’t help but smile back at him as she nodded her head.

Before Felicity knew it, Oliver enveloped her in a not-too-tight hug and placed a soft kiss on her temple.

After several moments, Oliver pulled away but stayed close enough to keep his forehead pressed to hers.

“I love you so much.” He whispered, the smile never leaving his face.

“I love you too.” Felicity replied.

**Author's Note:**

> I would really, really appreciate your feedback so please leave a comment! And don’t forget to hit that kudos button! :)
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: oneofthosecrazygirls-fics


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